The Difference of Martrys and Murderers
by vampyrosa
Summary: Juicy angst, don't believe us? How about attempted suicide. Slavery. Two timing. Deadly revenge. Blackmailing and guilt trips and manipulation. Need more? How about hot steamy forbidded tysts. SessX Kag.
1. Upside down, inside out

**Prologue**

It started innocently enough.

She was only curious why Inuyasha was taking forever.

She didn't mean to eavesdrop on his dead doll's conversation.

She didn't mean to look at the entwine lovers.

She didn't mean for her make believe world to crumble.

After so long of being in denial, the backlash of reality was just too much- it hurt! _He loves me. _Earlier that day they were sitting in their special place having a vegetarian style picnic. The world out side was bright and warm. _He loves me not._ Inuyasha would disappear at odd times during the day - Often gone for hours. _He loves me! _They would sit up in the trees at night and talk. He would hold her close and whisper sweet nothings into her ear. _He loves me not._ She would often wake up alone, the bed empty and cold. For miles around the world appeared void of all human presence. It was only her steady breathing to keep her company. _He loves me! _On the day the well stop working, he was there holding her, promising to love and take care of her. Together forever they would have each other. Now that Miroku, Sango and Shippou gone, he would be there- always! They would have a great future together. He promised!

_He loves me not…  
_  
The night the clay woman stumbled into camp Kagome knew her dream had ended. Kikyo's once dignified appearance was gone. Now her hair was dread locked with dead twigs and leaves. Small clumps of dirt stuck to her flesh and garments. Her expression fix in blankness, but her voice filled the air. Inuyasha stood up and went to her. He looked so happy, so relieved.

It was the wish she thought that didn't work. Kagome tried many times to get the Shikon no Tama to return her home, but it just wouldn't work. She didn't get it until now. First chance Inuyasha had with the jewel he wished for the corpse to come back. It explained why she hurt so much. It was a constant pain in her head and in her heart. For months she endured without complaint. He knew she suffered but did nothing to alleviate the ache.

He loves me not…

At first it was difficult for Kagome to know the clay doll was out there. Inuyasha would always come around and tell her how much he loved her. It was a tactic to calm her anxiety and probably to distract her of his two timing ways. He would tell her not to worry, that every thing would be okay. She wanted so much to believe she ignored the truth. That was until the nagging voices convinced her to go.

She felt guilty taking the first few steps toward the glow of Inuyasha's aura. She trusted him so why was she doubtful? True love didn't have room for that. She didn't want to become paranoid. She was only doing this to put her voices to rest.

He loves me not…

That's when she found them. Telling the dead bitch all the same lines he told her. He was caressing the other woman in all of Kagome's favorite places. Kissing with more passion and desire then he ever gave Kagome. She turn away unable to think. She walked, not knowing where or why. She was just functioning as all her mental capabilities turn in on it self.

At camp she packed what little she had. She pulled out a silver whistle and blew it. It didn't take long for Kouga and a few of his members to appear. She explained numbly that she didn't want to be there any more. She asked if they could take her some where safe. Somewhere she could stay for a while by herself. Kouga nodded and gave her a ride.

It was midnight when they stopped. It was a peaceful forrest not too far from their encampment. They offered her more but Kagome calmly refused. All she asked for was a knife for protection. Kouga gave it to her without thought and bid her a good night.

Kagome came to her senses a little bit. She tried to distract herself with setting up for the night. But the image of Inuyasha and that corpse replayed in her mind. She felt sick. She got up to empty her stomach, but along the way her feet took over. She walked around just to be walking. At the edge of the forest was a cliff. Down the cliff was a vast river. Oh her side of the valley was fresh and green. On the other side, the area appeared more hazardous and threatening. Dark dangerous mountains loomed in the distant.

She turned around with a new thought. She pulled out the blade and sought a decent place to enact her revenge. In the thickest florae she pushed and fought to get in the center. She sat on a moss-covered boulder. She took a deep breath.

Whether she knew it or not, through out the night she was being followed. He had witnessed every thing. It took many months but now results were showing. All was coming about as planned. He floated over her, occasionally blinded by the wayward flash of a blade.

Yes, it all started innocently enough. She wanted to die. That's why she was here. _Plip-plip_. She scratched at a misquote bite on her thigh.. _Plip-plip-plop._ She sighed. This was taking forever. She picked up the knife and craved a little deeper into her flesh. The pain was no more, as was all feeling. The only thing she felt was the tugging and the resistance of her skin. She had already marred her wrist with intricate designs. If she was going to kill herself, she could at less be a little creative.

"What are you doing?" Sesshoumaru asked. Kagome jumped with surprised, but she had no strength to turn around. '_What the hell was he doing here?'_ She thought. It didn't matter now though. She was a woman on a mission.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Kagome did not withhold the sarcasm. She was minutes off from bleeding out. What did she care? She no longer cared or felt afraid. "Go away."

"You will not tell-" He was cut off by Kagome's irate voice.

"Leave me alone. Gods, why can't a girl die in peace?"

For that insult Kagome was yanked up painfully by her hair. Roughly she was torn back. She landed on her rump painfully. Blood was splattered about and smeared across her shirt. A few droplets landed on her face and slid slowly downward. It appeared like errant red tears. He looked upon her. Her ashen complexion and the heady aroma of her blood lingering in the air.

"Why?" He demanded.

Kagome groaned as she sat up. "I don't have to explain my actions to you," Kagome said. Her head bobbed to the side, the dizziness passing through her head. She felt calm as the light headed-ness rocked her brain. He continued to look down at her. It was irritating. The look of morbid curiosity in his eyes was not the dying image she wanted to carry to the underworld. Hell, he was screwing every thing up. He wasn't supposed be here, Inuyasha was. The dark lord's golden eyes, so often filled with malice, now looked down at her in curiosity and – pity. "This has nothing to do with you. Just go away, _please_."

"You do look like Kikyou." He whispered. That hurt -a lot- and she knew he knew that as well. Bastard, he just had to bring her more undeserved pain. She thought she was beyond all that. She scowled at him.

"And you looked like Inuyasha with a stick up his ass." Kagome retorted. Her voice was a little too breathy and labored for her liking. Her comment didn't faze the demon lord.

"What has the bastard halfling done now?" Sesshoumaru went straight, and scarily to the point of the matter. She hated his cool exterior. That and his wickedly low, and yet sophisticated voice. It had the rumble of thunder and caress of an oncoming storm.

"Look, this does not concern you." She managed to prop herself on a low boulder. She rested her head back on the hard stone. The cool stone felt good against her feverish skin.

"It does, after all you're in my lands."

"Does it look like I care?" Her voice was low and faint.

Before she could blink, he had her pinned down - Like it was any good. She was practically dead, what was the use? She lay there looking off to the side. "So pathetically weak... and yet so incredibly willful." She heard him growl lowly. The venom was even in his voice.

"Yeah, dying makes a person grouchy." She said exasperated. She frowned at the unexpected feel of a hot sticky tongue licking the side of her face. _Just great_, she thought, _Should have expected he was a freak, must run in the family. _"Stop that…" She grunted.

"Pleasant," He said. His actions were down right unusual. If it had happen a week before she could have swore the Taiyoukai was insane. Of course at the moment, she detached herself enough where sanity and craziness blurred. Nothing made sense.

"Could you at least wait until I'm dead?" She said. She was too weak and too tired to really care if he didn't honor her request. The warmth left her. Before she could get her hopes up, she realized that he was not on her anymore. It was a good and bad feeling. Bad because it meant she was still alive, and good because he was finally off. He knelt next to her instead.

He gripped her mangled forearm. She didn't bother to look at either him or her arm. She winced as she felt shots of razor hot pain flood her body. She dared to glance at him and what he was doing. To her horror he was sucking on her arm, running his tongue in and over the gashes. The way he lapped up the red ambrosia was excruciating. Kagome wanted to scream it was unbearable.

Kagome whined in suppressed panic. She had no strength left to fight. Weakly she tugged her arm away from his greedy mouth. "What are you doing? Stop that!"

His bangs blocked his face from view, "If you will not tell why, then I shall consult," He stopped to dig his canines deeper into her flesh to get a better fount and to inject his toxins, "your life line."

Her heart was pounding painfully. It probably ached from the lack of substance to maintain its frantic rhythm. With each drought seemed to tug on her heart. The constant pulling made her increasing dizzy. Slowly, Kagome returned somewhat to her former self. What ever was in the poison gave her the illusion of enlightenment.

"Why are you doing this?" Kagome whispered. "Why does it matter to you?"

There wasn't an answer but the quiet sound of him suckling. He slowed his thirst to listen.

"It's not what you're thinking. This has nothing to do with Inuyasha or his dead whore. At first it was but not any more." Kagome mumbled. "I'm tired. This jewel is not worth this much pain. They are all gone and I don't want to be alone any more. I miss my family but I can't go back. I'm stuck here with that jerk. Damn it, this was not how it was supposed to end." Her eyes fluttered close. "It's so strange. I was hoping Inuyasha would be here but now I don't want him to see me like this… so weak…" She trailed off.

Sesshoumaru pulled away and licked his lips. His face became a blank slate again. "So in death you hope to gain your dignity. Not to mention make him suffer as well."

"Hmm… you know, I think that may be it. I just had an over whelming desire to be free from all this heartache, I didn't want to theorize." Kagome murmured. Her face was whiter then porcelain, almost bluish under the cold glare of the moon.

"Your sense of revenge is most admirable." He said quietly. His voice was fading away. "However, in time he will forget. Your death would be meaningless. He should suffer equally to your pain." Kagome didn't respond to him picking her up. "You will do what I could not."

He carried her to the riverbed. Her cool body grew even colder as he stood waist deep in the water with Kagome. He let her body float on the current. His hand held her up from beneath her neck. The water lapped up over her injuries and washed away the blood. She looked like a water goddess sleeping with her hair spread out on the liquid mattress. Once clean, he laid her on the grass. With tensaiga he resurrected her. Near her ear, he whispered instructions. Faintly she opened her eyes. She watched him in a new light. He was a regal and dangerous creature. He was also her savior.

"Tomorrow night you will come to me." He said. He drifted away like the wind. An hour pass before she could hear shouting. The crash of trees falling preceded the entrance.

"Kagome!" Inuyasha shouted. Soon, almost too soon for her taste, he was kneeling over her. "Kagome!" She looked at him but didn't say any thing. "Are you ok? Did he do any thing to you?"

"For a moment there I actually thought you cared." Kagome said softly, tears clouded her eyes.

"Of course I care!" Inuyasha said.

"Yes, and only for the welling being of the Shikon no Tama that now resides in me." Kagome said as she cupped his face.

"Kagome what are you talking about?" Inuyasha visibly paled.

"It no longer matters," Kagome whispered. "I realize now it's not worth it." She sat up but the soggy clothes were inhibiting her movement.

Inuyasha gasped, "Your… arm!"

Puzzled, she looked at the scarred mess of her arm. "What of it?"

"What happen?" He demanded, "Did he do that to you?"

She smiled, "No, you did my beloved." Inuyasha was taken back.

"I thought I make it easier for you, seeing as how you and that rotting corpse were determined to take the Shikon no Tama from me." Kagome managed to say it with a smile. Inuyasha recoiled like he had been slapped. She got to her feet and began to walk away. She hugged herself; she was so cold. The night was warm and balmy but when drenched, it was remarkable how frigid the air got.

Inuyasha scrambled after her, "Kagome that isn't true!"

"What is it about that corpse that you like? You know Kikyou is dead. Her spirit is gone. Reborn into me." She looked at her sopping skirt and took it off. There was a sharp gasp behind her. "It's late and no one is around. Besides it's not like you haven't seen me naked before." Kagome said as she peeled of her top. Dress only in her bra and panties she began walking again, her hands casually holding onto the wet clothing.

Inuyasha stopped, "What's happen to you?"

"Nothing, I've just awoken up a bit, that's all and it's not like my behavior changed over night." Kagome said, "You were too busy to notice, that's all." Her sinewy legs carried her further along. "You didn't answer my question." Kagome stopped as well, and slowly turn around. She looked over her shoulder questioning. "I'm waiting for an answer Inuyasha."

Inuyasha was flustered. His mouth opened but nothing came out that resemble words. Kagome nodded her head and let out a condescending laugh. "You're such a dork, why was I ever in love with you?"

"You…?" Inuyasha question anxiously.

"_Was_ is the key word." Kagome said. "From the moment I saw you I fell in love. Even after all those time you'd return to me after seeing that dead witch. I loved you so much I felt like I was dying, but did you notice? No… you were chasing after a memory. Never once did you acknowledge me as a potential lover."

Inuyasha was stunned. What could he say to all that? He knew on some level that her affection meant more, but he was always so afraid to act on the hints. Now as he listened to her, he could feel the pain he caused. It scared him how easily she was able to say it now. What had happen back there with Sesshoumaru?

"What did he do to you Kagome?" Inuyasha demanded.

"Please stay on track Inuyasha. What I have to say is important." Kagome firmly reprimanded. Inuyasha could feel a tight knot growing in his stomach. "No use beating around the bush, so here goes. Tomorrow, I'm leaving and you can't stop me. You choose Kikyou and I choose to leave."

"What?!" Inuyasha ran up to her side. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her towards him.

"Did you actually think you could keep both of us? I deserve to be loved, Inuyasha. I will not let my life pass away because you're indecisive." She starred into his amber-gold pools of his eyes. The black slits narrowed as comprehension filled his mind. "The Lord Sesshoumaru desires my company, and I accepted."

"What!" Inuyasha shouted. His grip turned menacing. "But he hates humans! There's no way he would take you as his woman!"

"How crude! Did I say we were going to be couple?" Kagome tried to push away from the punishing grip. Inuyasha was too stunned to do any thing more. "Actually I intend to take up Kouga's proposal. He may be an arrogant, self important Youkai but I know he loves me for who I am."

"No Kagome, you can't!" Inuyasha all but wailed.

"Why not? Don't I deserve to be loved? To be happy!" She slapped him across the face.

"No Kagome, this can't be. I love you!" He said in a hasty attempt to persuade her.

"You always say that, but do you mean it?" Kagome pushed away. Both looked away, not one saying a word. The sounds of the Forrest overrode their erratic breathing.

After a long wait, Kagome walked over to him. She rested her head on his chest. Her hands resting lightly on his back. "I could have been so good to you. I would have loved you more then life itself. Why couldn't you have been satisfied with just me?"

He pulled away to hold her chin lightly, "Kagome" he said softly. She held his hand and slowly dragged it over her heated skin, lower and lower. Curious and slightly bewildered at her actions, he let her guide his hand across her chest to her tummy. Finally she pulled his hand up to rest over her heart.

"Do you feel that?" She whispered.

"Yes?"

She pulled his hand to her mouth, and erotically sucked on a finger. Least to say these bold moves was stirring something in his blood. "Can you feel my desire?"

He gulped, "Yes."

Standing on her tiptoes, she kissed him. It was gentle at first, then rapidly turned aggressive. She pulled away to watch him. He looked like a little boy who had his candy taken away. She smirked in satisfaction.

"Every time you're with her, you will not hear a heart beat, or feel the warm of life and you will never feel any love because all that is with in me." She gave him a last kiss, but before she pulled away, she whispered into his ear, "and know that I hate you."

He stood there and watched as she left. Not once did she turn around. If there was a time to break down and cry, it was now. He just couldn't believe it. His Kagome would never be this cruel. His Kagome was all smiles and love. Sesshoumaru was the one! He must have brain washed her or something. He stormed off through the night searching for the scoundrel.

Kagome returned to camp. There was no Shippou keeping her bedding warm. No grumpy protest from Sango or Miroku there to harass her. Kirara was no where in sight. It was empty. She sat on her sleeping bag. Her yellow pack was a make shift pillow. Her life was indeed pathetic. Overwhelmed with loneliness and grief she cried herself to sleep.

The early morning rays stirred her out of her slumber. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. Realization hit of last night. She settled back in and pulled the coverlet up to her chin. What happen last night? What had she done? The cold truth was that she had given up her life to a murderous demon. She shuddered, if only last night was only a bad dream.

Cautiously she looked at her arm. The only testament and silent creed of what she did. The scars were still pink. It was a raw color of pink. Like under cooked meat. The scar tissue was relatively smooth and elastic looking. In her overly depressed state she managed to carve four braided arrows with a single arrowhead. She closed her eyes tightly. Why didn't he just let her die!

It was midday, with no Inuyasha in sight. There was no use procrastinating. She packed what little she had and journeyed off to meet her fate. It took a long time finding where she tried to commit suicide. She grew queasy at the sight of so much spilt blood.

"Kagome." She turned at the mention of her name. There stood Inuyasha, a little worst for wear. He looked at her, then the bloody knife stuck precariously in the dirt. "I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too…" She cried a little. She wanted nothing more then to run to him. So what was holding her back? Kikyou. Their secret meetings, they're conspirator talks, and promises of unyielding devotion. All the while knowing that she was there. Kagome; a third wheel.

Inuyasha growled at something behind her. Kagome looked over her shoulder to see the infamous Inu-youkai. He gave her a small gesture for her to come to him. She obeyed but Inuyasha grabbed her. "Don't leave!"

"You will release what is mine." Sesshoumaru said. Kagome struggled to get out of his grip. "Do so before you damage my property."

"What the fuck did you do to her!" Inuyasha yelled.

Sesshoumaru didn't move but his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "I merely gave the girl an alternative to death. I did what you were incapable of doing."

"Liar!" Tears were brimming in his eyes. The air was heavy with the intent to kill. Kagome had no other choice.

"Sit," She whispered. She too was dragged down with him. Unused to being sat, Inuyasha groaned and Kagome rolled him off her. "If it helps, consider me dead, like Kikyou. The Kagome you knew is gone." Limping slightly she walked to the Great lord. A cloud appeared beneath their feet.

She didn't cry any more as the visage of her beloved Hanyou diminished from view. She glanced up at the lord. The only thing that moved was his clothing and hair. She turned away and watched the world pass beneath her. What was going to happen now?

To be continued.


	2. In the Demon's lair

**Chapter 2**

It took more then half the day before they arrived at a high mountain fortress. The Lord did not once look at her or speak to her. It was as if she didn't exist. She waited at the entrance, unsure on what to do. Minutes passed, then an hour. Jaken the smelly demon toad hobbled out. He gave her a once over with a sour expression.

"My lord Sesshoumaru informs me you are Rin's new servant. There are rules you must abide by under the lue of death." He said with self-importance. She watched him with little to no interest. That irritated the toad, "First you must always remain quiet unless spoken to! You will answer to the Lord and me with great reverence. 'Yes master,' and 'no master' are what you're allowed to say to us, understood? You are not allowed to converse with anyone other then your charge. Even then your conversation will be monitored to ensure you do not corrupt Rin. Lastly, you will guard your charge with your life." Jaken wrinkled his nose, "But above all else, you must bathe regularly- Milord detests the odor of Ningens. In fact you should do so right now before you disgust Milord any further."

He began to walk in but when Kagome didn't follow, he reached for a whip. Sesshoumaru however stepped in at the appropriate time. "Leave." The retainer backed up and left hastily. Kagome shifted uncomfortably under his intense gaze.

"Come here." He commanded.

"Yes Master," Kagome said quietly and complied. Sesshoumaru was indeed surprised at her willingness. He was concern that breaking her was in order, but if she continued to be complacent, he saw no need. Was he disappointed, maybe but with her character and traits, he knew it wouldn't last.

"Do you remember what I told when you awoke?" He asked.

"Y-yes… You said you could help me." Kagome fidgeted.

"My word is my honor. I will help you but first you must prove your worthiness, in the mean time you will care for Rin." He said.

"Master Sesshoumaru, what must I do?"

"I did not give you permission to speak," His eyes pinned her to the spot. Kagome wanted nothing more then to run. There was a force Sesshoumaru was executing, and she was stuck in its hold. All she could do was bow her head.

"In any case, I will let you know." He said.

Again all she could do was nod her head.

"Undress," He commanded again. His powers surrounding them thicken and centered on her. Kagome hesitated but did as she was told. She kept her undergarments on however. He lifted her arms, checked them with a critical eye. He prodded her ribs and hips. He nodded that she could lower her arms. He circled her partially nude form twice. He felt her stiffen as he came in close and sniffed her. He walked around and grabbed her jaw. He yanked it downward to gaze into her mouth. He turned her face one way then the other way. He none too gently grabbed a handful of her hair to examine it. "You will do… for now. Jaken will tell you the code of conduct and what is expected of you. Tonight, if I have time, I will speak with you again."

"Yes Master," Kagome said quietly. She made a move to put her clothes back on but was thrown a servant gown. "You will wear these from now on." She touched the silk. It was smoother then cream and just as soft. Quickly she dressed.

For reasons unknown to her, she was playing this servant role all too well. Being told to strip down without a fuss puzzled her. There was definitively something wrong with this picture. Heck, having a demon manhandle her like a piece of cattle was** very wrong.** It went against every ethical bone in her body. She would have raised Kane if it were any other guy.

_Any other guy… _

_That's it! _She thought, _Sesshoumaru is controlling me in some way. Did it happen when he resurrected me? And why did he do that, what is he planning? I better keep an eye on him. All demons should be dealt with extreme caution- especially him! _Inwardly she made the mental note to go over these thoughts at a better time. There were just too many questions to deal with right now. Her goal at the moment was to survive, then sleuthing around came second.

Something had hardened in her soul. Yes, it was very important that she should survive. There was no way that one guy was going to push her to such an extent ever again. With all clarity she realized that no guy was worth this much pain, even if it were for revenge. Looking at Sesshoumaru, she decided to play the demure slave. In time she would study him, and perhaps learn his patented emotionless demeanor.

In the cold silence of the cave entrance they merely studied each other. He appeared to be in deep thought. Coming to a conclusion, he called forth his ward. The little girl came bounding out. Rin was all smiles when she noticed Kagome.

"This girl will be your personal assistant. If you need anything she is there to serve you." His eyes narrowed at the newest member. Kagome caught the meaning and she bowed her head to the girl. Rin ran over to her but stopped to remember her manners.

"I am very pleased to meet you again Kagome. I am also very glad you are here!" Rin curtsied. Kagome could feel a tug on her heartstrings. Oh god she missed Shippou. To cut off the urge to cry, she forced out a smile, "I'm glad to see you too."

"Are you really going to stay?" Rin tugged on her hand.

Kagome cautiously glanced back at the lord. "Yes Rin, that appears to be the case."

Rin ran over to her parental figure, "Thank you for my new sister."

"She is not meant to be your sister Rin. She is merely a servant, nothing more." He turned to go back inside. Rin frowned at this bit of news. Kagome waited until he was out of hearing range. She knelt down to the girl's level and whispered in a conspirator tone. "I don't have to your sister Rin, because you know what?"

Rin's eyes got a little bigger at the excitement of being secretive. "What?" She whispered too.

"I'll be your friend instead, how does that sound?" Kagome said.

"Yeah!" Rin shouted but calmed when Kagome place a finger on her lips in the universal sign of a secret. "Yeah!" She said again but quieter.

Jaken had come back out looking very suspicious at the two. He huffed again when both girls played innocent. "Come on, don't twaddle!" They smiled and held hands as they followed the miniature Youkai. Along the stone corridors, red paper lanterns lit the way. Kagome was ever watchful, absorbing up any information and keeping mental tabs of rooms. For the most part, there were a few carved out rooms, the inside were empty aside from the occasional desk or chests. The tunnel led down ward, farther and farther. At the end, a bluish flickering light appeared. Soon after the sound of rushing water. The closer they got, the air became humid and heavy with mist. At last they entered into a large cavern, inside there ran an underground river.

Rin ran to edge of the stream to gaze at the glowing fish that swam near the calmer currents of the shore. Kagome could not see the source of light until she noticed a few crevices in the ceiling where many mirrors were place to reflect light from the outside into the room. The light bounced off the water and reflected onto the glittering walls like a disco ball. Jaken half dragged half carried the basket with bathing supplies. Kagome took it from him before he broke his back. The toad was startled at this action, not sure to be grateful or suspicious.

"Remember Rin to come out before you become a prune. Milord says he wants you spotless, understand?" He huffed again when the child didn't respond. She kept giggling as she tried carefully to scoop up a blue glow fish. So instead he turned his bulbous eyes to Kagome, "Spotless!" Kagome was seriously tempted to roll her eyes but nodded her head instead.

Once the hideous creature was out the girls undressed and hoped in. Much to Kagome displeasure the water was only lukewarm. The mist and humid air was false advertisement. She swam over to the little girl.

"So Rin what's it like living with the Great Lord of the Western Lands?" Kagome said as she helped wash the girl's hair. If her observation was going to be effective, she needed to get the inside scoop.

Rin splashed a round, "It's okay, but sometimes it can get lonely," she paused to rub the water out of her eyes "And very tiring!" She added the last part with heavy emphasis that only children know.

"I take it your Sesshoumaru-sama isn't the talkative type on his patrols. What about Jaken?" Kagome questioned.

"Jaken is a poop head. I try to be nice but he's so mean when Sesshoumaru-sama isn't around. He's always hitting me with that staff and calling me names." Rin sniffled. "Today he called me a runt."

"That mean old grumpy good for nothing poop head! He dared to say that to a cute button like you? That's just wrong." Kagome exaggerated to make her laugh a little. "Forget him. He's just jealous because Sesshoumaru likes having you around instead of him."

"You think so?" Rin asked uncertainly. Kagome's smile faltered for a moment. This little child was in real need of love and encouragement. She smiled, this time with sincerity.

"Yeah, I'm positive!" She said. "Dunk." Rin got a mouth of air and popped under. Kagome thought for a moment. Like any nurturing woman, she looked at Rin and saw a crusade. She would do her darnest to make this little kid happy. Just like Shippou.

"What do you around here?" Kagome asked.

"I'm Sesshoumaru-sama official flower picker! He says it's the greatest honor in all his lands." Rin said boastfully. "It's right next to being a retainer!"

"That's awesome Rin." Kagome said. She handed the little girl the cloth to wash her back. Rin grabbed it and started to scrub really hard. "Owie!"

"Sorry but Jaken says this is the only way to get really clean!" Rin said and began with more gusto. Kagome twisted away and grabbed the washcloth.

"Maybe for his sticky warty scaly hide! We are ladies with delicate skin. Now watch me." Kagome lathered up the cloth, "First be start with our arms and legs." She demonstrated by going in circular motions with a little pressure. "Now we do our tummy, and then our back." She stopped to make more suds on the cloth. "Make sure you get in between the toes, belly button, and behind the ears. Got that? You try now." Rin mimicked every thing including scrunching up her face as she twirled (unintentionally) around washing her back. "Hah hah! Okay we dunk three times. Ready?"

"Yeah!" Rin said. In unison the girls went under, laughing and sputtering as they came up.

Kagome got out and handed the child a towel too. They were in the middle of drying off, when Rin turned to her. "I'm really glad you're my friend Kagome. I never had one before." Kagome smiled awkwardly. "I hope you don't go. Promise me you will never ever leave!"

Kagome paused, to consider her words. "I'm sorry Rin, I can't promise that. That's like asking me what the future is. Nothing in the world stays the same. I will promise I will be there for you."

Rin pouted but nodded her head. "You'll probably go back to the doggie boy, huh?"

Kagome stiffen at the mention of her ex friend. "Oh I highly doubt that."

"Kagome-san, how come? I thought you two were in love." Rin said.

Kagome tied her obi as she thought about it. She really wanted to tell someone but Rin was only a kid. She pondered that it would be best to be honest to her charge; of course she would edit it a bit. "Inuyasha and I are two very different people. It's only natural for us to go separate ways."

Rin's eye got large and watered a bit, "Oh Kagome, he broke your heart, huh?" Kagome nearly face faulted. How in the world did she get it? Before she could ask the little girl, Rin ran to give her a hug.

"Uh… it's okay, really." Kagome said as she patted the little girl's back. This was awkward. Up the corridor, Jaken's squawk-like voice drifted downward.

"_You're taking too long! Come out now and I mean right now!"_ Jaken all by shouted.

Rin placed her hands on her hip and started to mimic the toad. Kagome grin, the kid had him down to a fault. "Come on let's go."

Rin was excused to play outside. Meanwhile Jaken lectured Kagome in the duration. Kagome yawned. So far she was given a list of what she couldn't do such as, no going outside, no touching anything, she is to be seen not heard, where not to go in the fortress, what not to tell Rin, and certainly no visitors and so on and so forth. For the sixth time she nodded her head dumbly. When was he ever going to just shut the hell up?

"You are here for one thing only. To serve the Lord Sesshoumaru! Your loyalty and life belong to him. You do not think, or have opinions here. What goes on here, stays here. Any violations of any kind will result in severe punishment." The toad starred hard into her eyes. "Do you swear on your life that you understand and agree to these conditions?"

"Yes and no." Kagome said as she stretched. "When's dinner?"

All Kagome could remember was seeing stars. She rubbed her head but winced. She settled on laying back down. In the distance she could hear Jaken tattle telling on her. Rin was crying hysterically and accusing Jaken of killing Kagome. She could feel a pair of cold eyes starring down at her.

"Get up." Sesshoumaru demanded.

Her body obeyed even though Kagome was very reluctant to move. A tad wobbly she looked up at him. Guilt and shame was the fore front emotion. _Why do I feel like this? I didn't do any thing really wrong._ "Yes master," Kagome said red faced.

"Follow me. Rin go outside," Sesshoumaru looked at Jaken "I will speak with you later."

Kagome had no choice but to follow. He led her to a room. In the center was a pole. Immediately she began to get scared when she saw the blotches of rusty, flaky residue on the ground surrounding the pole. This red umber color was also sprayed, smeared, and in one spot the coagulated mess ricocheted onto the ceiling and slid off the wall. The grotesque mess was disturbing but she couldn't tear her eyes away.

Behind her she heard him open an upright chest. There was a clang of metal, the rustle of objects and snap of a latch pulled. There was a sharp crack inches from her ear. She spun around and stumbled backwards.

"Let me make it clear to you. Misbehave," He let the whip snap near her hand, "And you will be corrected. Even though I revived you, it does not mean I will be kind or considerate of you. This will be your last warning."

He tied her hands to the pole and locked the door. Kagome could see nothing in the cold darkness. He planned to leave her there over night. That would be plenty of time for her to think about her situation. The Taiyoukai went to his library. He called his Retainer to enter. The atmosphere was bright with many candles. Pillows were piled in one corner along with blankets. On the other side were scrolls stacked high. In the middle toward the back was a high seated chair. This is where he sat as the retainer bowed before him.

"Tell me Jaken, who is Lord here?" Sesshoumaru asked.

"Why you Milord Sesshoumaru," Jaken said nervously. He knew something bad for his health was about to happen.

"Yes, that is correct. So tell me why you feel the need to undermine this Sesshoumaru's authority? Did I give you permission to carry out discipline on what is mine?" Towards the end of his harangue his voice become threatening.

Jaken flustered with an appeasing excuse, "Milord I was only helping you maintain order with these disobedient ningens since you are too important to be bothered."

"I don't need your incompetent help. Must I remind you that you are also a servant in my service? If trouble arises, I should be notified. From now on you will not harm Rin in any way or form. As for the bond woman, corrections will be dealt by my hand only."

"Yes Milord!" Jaken groveled. Sesshoumaru got up and stepped on the smaller Youkai on his way out.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru paused at the door.

"Y-yes milord?" Jaken tried to say.

"You stink." Jaken inwardly groan at the untold command to bathe, again!

"Aye Milord." But the Inu-Youkai was not around to hear him.

Sesshoumaru followed the scent of Rin who was nervously braiding flowers to make a crown. She looked up and ran to him.

"Is Kagome alright?" Rin asked fearfully.

"She is fine, but she had been very imprudent. You will not see her for a while. Come inside, it's getting late." Rin held his hand as he led her in. They went into the library. Rin went to her spot among the pillows to continue her braiding as Sesshoumaru wrote in his journal. He glanced at the girl who was unusually quiet. The girl was never this calm.

"What did you do today while I was out?" He asked.

Rin tapped her chin in contemplation. "The same thing I always do. I picked flowers, put them in vases. I watered the garden. Made tea. Took a nap. Picked more flowers when Jaken threw the others out. Fed Ah-Un. Went for a walk. Um… that's it." Rin's nibble fingers wove the ends of the wreath together. "All finished! Sesshoumaru-sama, can I give this to Kagome?"

"Now is not the best time. When she learns to behave then you can give it to her," Sesshoumaru said.

Rin sighed and stuck it on her head instead. "I'm bored. I wish Kagome were here. She's so much fun! Today she showed me how to get clean, and it didn't hurt! She even showed me how to whistle! She also taught me a song, wanna hear it?"

Sesshoumaru nodded and went back to his calligraphy. Rin cleared her throat dramatically. He stopped when he heard the sweetest sound. Rin's voice was clear as a bell and gentler then a bird's call. What caught his attention most were the haunting lyrics and even stranger message.

"Threw you the obvious and you flew with it on your back. A name in your recollection. Down among a million, say: Difficult enough to feel a little bit. Disappointed, passed over. When I've looked right through, To see you naked and oblivious and you don't see me… Well I threw you the obvious, Just to see if there's more behind the Eyes of a fallen angel, Eyes of a tragedy… Here I am expecting just a little bit. Too much from the wounded. But I see, See through it all, See through, And see you. So I threw you the obvious… Do you see what occurs behind the Eyes of a fallen angel… Eyes of a tragedy… " Rin hummed the rest.

"I can't remember the rest. Kagome says it's an a-merry-can song. She sang it in a different language first then translated for me. It's a sad song, but it's very melodic. Don't you think so?"

"Yes, you sang it wonderfully." Rin beamed at his comment. He was always amazed at the simplest remark from him brought such joy for his ward. "Perhaps your attendant will pick a more appropriate song to teach you next time."

"Kagome isn't my attendant Milord, she's my friend," Rin quietly said.

"It would be best not to get too attached to her Rin, regardless of your opinion." Sesshoumaru said.

Rin wisely kept her mouth shut. She nodded her head. "I'm sleepy, may I be excused?"

"Yes." With that Rin walked out to her chamber. She glanced back at him to see if he was indeed distracted. He was for all her childish mind could determine. Stealthy she went to the 'Forbidden door.' Glancing to her right then her left, she was about to turn the handle when Jaken squawked.

"What do you think your doing!" Jaken snapped.

Rin jumped and fumbled with her flower crown. "Nothing!"

"Indeed!" Jaken hobbled behind her and pushed her to her room. "Go to bed before I tell Sesshoumaru-sama on you."

"Go ahead! I'm not afraid of you. My Sesshoumaru-sama said you can't hurt me." She raised her chin. "I don't like you. I'm not your friend any more." She turned on her heels and stomped off to her room. Jaken glared daggers at the brat. He looked at the door that held the young woman and nearly hissed. These humans were corrupting his lord. He wondered if it was too late for his master. Already his master had a fondness for the child, but add a grown woman to the mix? There was no way his Lord could escape the witchery that inhibited all females and were especially troublesome when they were human.

He had to do something before his lord fell like his sire. He knew that so long as they spellbound his Sesshoumaru-sama nothing he said would persuade his lord. Sesshoumaru-sama wouldn't let them go. So he had to get them to leave.

Jaken grinned mischievously. The Lord Sesshoumaru said he couldn't hurt Rin, he didn't say anything about the so-called Miko. Technically speaking Sesshoumaru-sama said he wasn't allowed to punish her. So if he _accidentally_ hurt her, he was okay and if he _let _something _happen_, he couldn't be faulted. Yes, first the Miko, then the whelp.

If he could get rid of Inuyasha, he was sure in hell he could get rid of the girls. He hobbled off to plan. Yes, he was doing it solely for his Sesshoumaru-sama.

To be continued…


	3. Phoenix

**Chapter 3**

She had to admit, being locked in the dark messed with your ability to gauge time. An hour or a day could have passed. By the way her arms ached and the tingly sensation in her legs, she could tell she'd been there a few good hours. She shivered lightly. The air was cold and the lingering smell of death was intent on snuffing her out.

Well she definitely had time to think. It was more so than she wished. She leaned her head back on the post not mindful of the encrusted blood. '_Sesshoumaru_', what was he possibly be thinking bring her here? There was no way he revived her out of the goodness of his heart. Heck the chances of him being there at the exact point in time was slim to nil. Which led her to believe he was watching her this whole time? That last thought sent a shiver through her. As unflattering the thought of him interested in her, she knew there was a reason behind it and that it wasn't likely to be something virtuous.

She shifted onto her hindquarters to get circulation going. She leaned her head to the side. It couldn't possibly be the Tetsusaiga, the iron cleaving fang. Didn't he give it up months ago? She had to admit it was weird how all of a sudden he lost interest in it. Kagome tugged on the straps. She wanted to lie down but the cuff would only stretch so far. She still struggled in disgruntlement. It was no use, she would either have to fall a sleep standing up or force her arms to bend in an unnatural angle all night.

She had to look back on the incident that brought them together. It wasn't pleasant. He had watched the whole time she was cutting up her arm. Now in this empty darkness, the gripping reality of what she did and why made her sick. She was ashamed. It was enough to make her cry at her lost innocence.

She took it too far, admitting she over reacted when her eyes opened up to the truth. Tears fell over her lost friend. She lied to him when she said she hated him. She loved him so much she really did feel like she was dying. Without him… what was she?

She was lost in a world not her own. No family, no close friends to help her, and she had no home. All she had was her anger and jealousy. She refused to become like Kikyou. In all fairness, she deluded herself into thinking he loved her. She was merely a replacement until Inuyasha could get the real one back. She smiled at the bitter irony that Kikyou was still a zombie. This was enough to snap her out of her self-pity. In fact she pitied Kikyou instead who had her rest disturb once again. From an external point of view, she was wronged, both her and Kikyou.

So what she did wasn't exactly revenge, it was punishment.

The cloud in her mind cleared. This was why Sesshoumaru brought her here. This is what he meant by helping her. So the real question now was what was in it for him? An opportunity to inflict pain on Inuyasha, of course he wouldn't pass this up.

Kagome sneered in self-reproach. Once again she was being used as a tool_. 'Why am I not surprised? What other reason would he bring me here? Once an asshole, always an asshole.'_ Again something turned colder in her soul. Bit by bit she was losing herself. She was surprise at how easy it was and it felt good.

Looking back on that incident, she no longer felt guilty but satisfied. The scar she would bare as a reminder of her foolishness and naiveté. There was nothing like a little humbling to make a person sleepy. She stood up and leaned on the pole. It was going to be a long night. Groggily she attempted to sleep.

Rin too was having a difficult time sleeping. Her Sesshoumaru locked Kagome in the forbidden room. She wasn't supposed to know what it represented, but living with a demon for several years corrupted her innocence. She knew exactly what that room was used for. She felt bad for Kagome. It was all Jaken's fault. He never liked Kagome. This was kind of odd. How could anybody not like Kagome?

Getting up she checked if the coast was clear. She tiptoed to the room that held Kagome. Cautiously she turned the handle. It didn't move. She deduced that it must be locked. At the bottom of the door was a crack big enough to stick her hand through. She moved her mouth to the spot and whispered.

"Kagome are you in there?" She asked. At first it was silent. Again she repeated before she heard something?

"Rin?" Kagome asked.

"It's me." Rin answered.

"What time is it?" Kagome yawned her question.

"It's past midnight. The moon has passed over a long time ago." Rin said.

"Sweetie it's late. You should be in bed getting some sleep." Kagome said.

"I know. I just wanted to see if you're okay." Rin said nervously.

"I'm peachy…" Kagome said. It sure was hard not being cynical. "Go back to bed. The sun will be up before you know it. You have a big day head of you."

"I guess so…" There was no mistake the down hearted tone in her voice.

"What's wrong?" Kagome asked.

"I can't sleep with you in there." Rin got in a comfortable position to talk.

"Well it really can't be helped. Please try to go back to sleep. Do it for me, okay?"

"Can I sleep here?" Rin asked hopefully.

"Er… I don't think your Sesshoumaru-sama will appreciate that and I'm sure your bed is way more comfy then the floor." Kagome said. In the blackness she heard something. "Rin?" Kagome realize the sound was someone slowly breathing. She wanted to smack her head into the pole. The kid fell asleep at the door. Well at least she wasn't alone. The sound was almost hypnotizing. Soon she was being carried off with that sound.

Sesshoumaru heard the scamper of feet. He figured Rin had drunk too much water and needed to go to the toilet. He didn't pay it any mind. He continued to write but the noises indicating her return remained absent. He got up to investigate. Bewildered he found her on the floor. A flicker of panic swept through his heart, but the reassuring sound of her snore calmed him. He walked over and gently picked her up. She was a bit startle at the movement but relaxed when she recognized him. Automatically she latched onto his neck. Her tiny hands twitched in his hair.

He carried her to her futon. Even in her sleep she was reluctant to let him go. De-tangling a human child with one arm was not easy. He managed and had her tucked in. Morning was a few hours away. He got up but stopped when Rin mumbled Kagome's name.

He was having second thoughts about his decision. He didn't want Rin to get attached but he feared it was already too late. Rin was desperate for companionship. It had been a long time since he seen her so alive. So full of wonderful delight; He missed it.

As for this wench, he had many plans for her. When she fulfilled her usefulness, he found no need to keep her. Not even for Rin's sake. He stopped just out the door. He could smell her and even the tears she shed hours ago. Her heart pounded in a steady rhythm. It was loud enough to echo in his ears.

Rumors were going around that he was going soft. They all talked about him taking on a human as a pet. Some went further and elaborated on his situation with Rin to disgusting lengths. He loathed those that wagged their tongues. He never cared about what other's said but as time went on he conceive he could utilized this broadcasting system. In fact with the Miko in his keeping he was sure this was more then juicy fodder for their gossip. He looked forward to it. One way or another, word would get back to Inuyasha of what he lost.

Yes the first real purpose of keeping the human female was revenge. He would teach Inuyasha the pain of lost. Sesshoumaru touched the empty sleeve. The human wasn't even close to collateral but it was probably the best leverage he had against the Hanyou.

He turned away to rest a while. Tomorrow he had many things to do. He walked further to his bed and slept. As soon as the sun arose he was up and out.

Kagome's arms were really aching. Her legs were so tired some of her muscles were quivering from the strain of stand for so long. With nothing to drink since yesterday morning, she was thirstier then a sponge. To top it all off she had to go to the bathroom so badly. As always she relied on her tried and true gift- Patience.

Everything up until now came as a blur. At this point she didn't have options. She was in the lair of the beast. She really had nothing to look forward to, except- Kagome shook her head. Going home was an impossibility, _she tried_. Yet that lingering hope would not die.

All morning she tried to focus herself. In her head she sang a mantra of peace. She had to think positive thoughts otherwise the gloom would eat her whole. There was hope, she just needed to clear out the clutter in her head. She still had friends like Rin and Kouga. Miroku, Sango, Kohako and Shippou were out there in Keade's village! Some way or another she would see them again. Until then she had to be strong. _'What else do I have?'_ She had Sesshoumaru's help for all that was worth.

Speaking of the devil, where was he? Did he forget about her? She did an awkward dance with lots of prancing and twisting. She really had to think positive thoughts to keep her from cursing a blue moon.

It was midday when they returned home. Sesshoumaru helped Rin get off of Ah-Un. He walked deeper into the fortress to retrieve the young woman. What he found amused him greatly. Kagome was amid a new style of potty dancing. She asked him as sweetly as she could if she may go outside to relieve herself but her eyes betrayed her. In her blue grey eyes he saw nothing short of murder.

He undid the shackles but before she could bolt, he tied a rope around her waist. She gritted her teeth when his Lordship walked at an incredibly slow pace. He gave her ten-foot slack. Now that she out side to do her business, she couldn't! Well at least not with him standing there. Oh hell she knew it was childish. She went back out, red as a tomato.

"What's the matter?" He questioned. Oh she just knew he was snickering at her! She just knew it!

"I can't… you know… while you're there."

"I don't trust you enough to leave you by yourself: you could get hurt." He said still holding onto the coil of rope like a leash. Talk about role reversal. Kagome came to the sad conclusion that for all facts and purposes she was a pet.

She had to think fast. She reached into her kimono and pulled out a gold heart shaped locket. "Here! This is my most treasured possession. I won't take off I swear!" She handed it to him.

He didn't say anything as he took it. He did however tie her to a tree with one hell of a knot. Kagome didn't care. Once she was sure he was out of the area, she went. It was crude but damn did she feel better! She waited at the tree where he left her. Looking at the rope, she notices it was made from very fine, very shiny threads. Was it silk?

Sesshoumaru didn't take long to retrieve her. He touched the knot and magically it came undone. He tugged on the cord which Kagome followed unwilling. On the way back she stumbled. Her legs were trying to adjust to movement. She didn't think that was the only problem. Kagome tried to clear her head but it wasn't much good. For the past several days she had barely anything to eat. It wasn't the hunger that was getting to her, albeit that contributed, it was her thirst. She swallowed for what seemed like the millionth time.

Once back inside, they headed to the same room again. Kagome nearly stopped dead in her tracks. Once was enough for her. He wasn't serious, was he? Being a powerful Taiyoukai her resistance was futile. Kagome lurched forward after him. She was on the verge of getting hysterical that's how bad she didn't want to go in.

Instead of going in, Sesshoumaru turn around at the doorway to face her. She looked at him and the room. Even though she wasn't flogged like the poor misfortunate fools that stayed in there, that place sent a shiver of fear through her.

"Tell me, did you learn your lesson?" He asked. God she hated his self-righteousness.

"What Lesson?! I didn't do any thing to d-" He yanked hard on the rope and she fell to her knees. Her eyes watered at the stinging sensation. It was the warm trickle that indicated she cut them up some. Between gritted teeth she said, "Yes, Master. Sesshoumaru-sama, I have learned my lesson."

"What lesson was that?" He asked. There was no room for bullshit.

Kagome was silent for a moment, and then she blurted what ever came to mind, "I don't have any opinions…"

"For a human- a female human- you catch on well." He said, almost approvingly.

She looked up at him only to be taken back by the gentle curve of his mouth. The corners of his mouth were slightly upturned and the barest glimmer of his canines would be seen. She never saw him smile other then the one that promised a painful death. _'If he's smiling at me then…' _Kagome gasped when she put the two together. So when he offered her a hand, she shrank back from it afraid that it was going to hurt her. When she didn't take it, his smile disappeared.

"Get up."

She hopped to her feet despite the pain. He led her to another room. She tried to limp after him the best she could. Inside the room was plain but it did have a nice carved out window. The Tatami mats complimented the cool gray stone. In one corner was a folded futon with a blanket and makura.

"Sit," He said. Inwardly Kagome gave a sad laugh. She did as she was told. If she wasn't careful she might end up being a mindless drone.

He folded his legs beneath him and sat across from her. With out looking away he called Jaken. The smaller Youkai brought a low table and set it with tea and cake. Before he left he gave Kagome a baleful look. Once Jaken was out Sesshoumaru watched her as she eyed the sweet morsels and inhaled the aroma of the green tea.

"From now on, you will seek this Sesshoumaru for all your needs." He said. There was a deeper meaning to his words but at the moment all Kagome could think about was food. She was on the verge of salivating as he offered her the cup to drink from. It felt marvelous to have the warm liquid soothe her parched throat. She didn't care that she was being hand fed.

He offered her a piece of cake but when she went to take a snap from it he pulled it back. He managed to do that with a straight face. She pouted when he did it a second time.

"Who will you seek for all your needs?" He asked. It was eerie how serious and stern his mannerism was.

"You, Master Sesshoumaru," Kagome said hurriedly. He let her take a bite. She chewed her food happily.

"Who will you seek for all of your needs?" He asked again. He held up the piece so it was eye level with her.

"You, Sesshoumaru-sama," Kagome said slowly. What was with him? She added the honorary suffix in hope he would stop this weird exercise.

"What will you do?" He said. This time he kept the cup just out of reach from her.

This was pointless! If only it weren't Sesshoumaru sitting in front of her then she would've swipe the food and run. Kagome took a calming breath. "I will seek you, Sesshoumaru-sama for all of my needs."

"Again." He said still holding the cup.

"I will seek you, Sesshoumaru-sama for all of my needs." Kagome said it. Her stomach rumbled with impatience. This was tedious. Were all her encounters with him going to be weird?

Through out the duration of the small meal, this exchange continued. As Kagome swallowed the last bite and drank the last drop, she wondered what was next. Seeing no more vittles, Kagome slumped back. She was still starving!

"Um… permission to speak master," Kagome asked.

He gave a slight nod.

"May I please have some more?" Kagome pleaded.

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru commanded. The toad entered with hot water for the tea, but nothing else. Kagome sighed inwardly,_ 'its better then nothing.' _Jaken set up the tea arrangement, and took the empty tray. Like before he shot Kagome a heated gaze. _'What's his problem?'_ She thought.

Sesshoumaru took up the cup delicately and sipped the hot contents. He gestured for her to take the other cup as her own. Granted this little freedom Kagome smiled with joy. They sat in silence. She watched him trying to gauge what he had planned next.

He remained unreadable as ever. The only change in him was his appearance. Today he was not dressed in the white kimono or wore the heavy armor. Instead he chose a black haori, with an even blacker kimono underneath it, the whole of it tied with a white sash around his middle. Kagome became aware that he wasn't wearing his swords.

He didn't have Tensaiga with him. She knew it wasn't supposed to mean much but it did. When ever he wore the sword, she felt a… Kagome didn't know how to describe it. It was like a bond of some sort. Through this bond she was able to sense things about Sesshoumaru. It went beyond thoughts or emotions. It went deeper, like a soul connection.

Yesterday when Sesshoumaru told her to get up, she sensed his displeasure. That's why she felt guilty. She annoyed him and she was ashamed of that, and not because she gave Jaken a hard time. So if she could feel all this, did that mean he could feel her too? That was a frightening thought.

It looked like he was going to say something. If only he had Tensaiga! Being in Sesshoumaru's company was like walking in a minefield in the dark. New anxieties arose on how to react to him. Kagome patiently waited. Although he didn't have his death-defying sword, Kagome's miko powers told her something was up. Like always, it wasn't something good.

"You are an intriguing oddity." He said. Kagome looked up at him in indignation. Did he just call her an interesting freak? She had to bite her tongue on this. Keeping silent meant living longer. He continued, "To my eye, there isn't much wrong with you. You have all your teeth and you are healthy."

Kagome took another sip of her drink. Her thirst was lax but she was so hungry. In this case hunger was a good thing. Anything to distract her from the conversation and the dangerous turn it took.

"Yes most peculiar." He drank some more. He held up the empty cup and Kagome refilled it begrudgingly. "Why is it that my idiot half brother passed you up? There must be something very wrong with you for him to seek out a dead woman to satisfy his needs."

Kagome breathed in and out calmly. Damn that metaphorical knife as it slowly turned in her heart. She knew what he was up to. She wasn't going to give in. She wasn't going to let him see her break down.

"Perhaps it isn't you. Maybe it is his human inheritance that brought on his perverse necrophilia." He gave a small nod. He watched her reactions well. It was a great strain on her. _'Why can I just let it go! It's over! What's done is done!' _He watched the conflict in her eyes as if he were watching a storm brewing.

"You knew what he did in his absence, yet you stayed. You had no choice because you have nothing else." His words were laced with venom while his voice remained empty of apathy. His voice had that cruel ability to hide what he truly felt and that was what Kagome feared. Kagome closed her eyes to trap the tears. _Breathe_, she had to remind herself. Her hands trembled as she refilled his cup again. It was hard to see the blurry objects.

"I love you. Did he say that? Was it followed with a kiss to keep you from hearing the lie?" Sesshoumaru wasn't trying to be mean spirited. He was trying to help as he said he would. He would start by breaking her and rebuilding her to be a more efficient puppet. Just one more shove.

"He was going to kill you. That's why he blocked the well."

Kagome's resolve shattered at this. "Lair! You fucking bastard! He didn't, he wouldn't! You're lying!" He may have been a two-timing cheat, but Inuyasha _was not wicked.  
_  
He didn't smile or flinched from her tone of voice. As much as he wished, he didn't feel any pleasure making the girl cry. He waited until she settled down a notch.

"So far, all that I have said is the truth." Sesshoumaru voiced.

Kagome shook her head violently. She felt like a caged animal that finally snapped at the person poking her with a stick. All her reasons for being quiet left. She was so overwhelmed. All this stress from lack of food, rest and the emotional turmoil was enough to make her crazy. She probably was at moment.

"Even if it was, it's none of your damn business!" Kagome backed away from him. "Where do you get off by saying all this! God, get a life!" She just wanted a nice spot to cry herself to sleep. Rest… that's all she wanted. A dark quiet place far away from all the pain.

She finally remembered the rope as he pulled her back to him. He backhanded the table along with their drinks into the wall. It landed with a crash. The wood actually groaned as it splintered every where. With that out of the way, Kagome had nothing stopping her from falling into his lap. He pulled her thrashing form fully onto his lap and growled menacingly for her to stop.

It was no use struggling against his iron grip. Kagome stilled from sheer exhaustion. She wept quietly. Sitting in his lap like some oversized doll, she had no choice but to be complacent. She could feel the vibration of his growl on her neck. Once sure that she wasn't going to get hysterical he spoke into her seashell shaped ear.

"He blocked the well to keep you here. Long enough to replenish Kikyou. He was going to sacrifice you to being back his true love."

"You lie," Kagome said softly.

"Why else did he take you so far away from your friends? Why did he keep you in solitude? Didn't his collection of odd artifacts dealing with necromancy ring a bell in your pretty head?" He said lowly.

"If all this is true why didn't you let me die!" Kagome choked out. "I have no reason to live as you so clearly pointed out!"

He removed his arm around her waist to pull something from his pocket. She had to focus her eyes to see the gold locket swinging before her face. Tentatively she reached for it and opened it up. Inside a picture of her Mother, Souta and Grandfather were etched in gold with photo perfect quality on one side. The other side held a worn portrait of her father. Her sniffling stopped as she gazed at each of their faces.

"I can help you go home if you help me." He whispered into her ear. For a second, it had the haunting quality of Naraku's temptations.

Kagome turned in his lap to look him in the eye. "I'll do anything! But… why are you helping me, don't you hate humans? This isn't like you."

"You presume too much." He said evenly. Kagome couldn't bear the sheering intensity of the gold pools of his iris. She turned back around. To her horror she felt him lick the outer curve of her ear. His hot breath made the fine hair on her neck rise on end. "The fact of the matter is that I hate everyone and everything."

Why does that sound familiar? Kagome had to keep her mind focused on something other then his warm wet tongue. She thought hard as to why that phrase struck her as familiar. Oddly enough, that would have been a typical Kikyou response. Her anger flared. He was messing with her again. It was like she was riding a roller coaster of emotions. She had to get away from him. She was glad that he didn't do anything as she got off his lap.

However, moving around so much agitated her skinned knee. It bled but not too much. She looked at it but a foreign hand got in her line of view. Sesshoumaru touched the cut, heck, he rubbed it painfully, which of course made her wince. He brought it up to his face for inspection.

He smeared the red liquid with his thumb as if testing the consistency of it. He licked his fingers cleaned. That was when Kagome witnessed an actual change of expression. He frowned as he contemplated its taste. He reached out to get a little more on his finger. When she flinched away, he pinned her with a look of warning. Kagome winced once more as his fingers wiped up the remaining blood.

Sesshoumaru closed his eyes as he sucked his finger. To her, he looked like a wine connoisseur tasting fine wine. When he opened them, Kagome could see a new light. It was filled with volatile power. He blinked several times before it cleared.

"Interesting," there was the barest hint of a smile. That was the last thing she saw before she blacked out.

To be continued…


	4. Conditioning

Chapter 4

Inuyasha's search wasn't bringing in the results he wanted. For the millionth time he cursed himself. This was his entire fault! He should have known something was up when Sesshoumaru's presence increased in the last few months. There was no way that was a fluke. Now Kagome was in Sesshoumaru's grasp. If his history with Sesshoumaru taught him anything, it was that his older half brother was one sadistic bastard.

It had been 10 days since they left. The gods only knew what tortures his Kagome was enduring. It all came back to him. If only he had been a little more honest with her, then perhaps Kagome would've stayed.

She had it all wrong and he didn't blame her.

It was an accident. He didn't mean to wish for Kikyou to come back. When Kagome didn't react adversely, he thought it was okay. He was an idiot. Of course Kagome was hurt! For his sake, she remained silent about her true feelings.

Then Sesshoumaru pounced on that opportunity. Just like Naraku would have.

This time however, he wasn't going to lose her. He couldn't! He had come this far with her by his side and he wasn't about to start without her.

First things first, he had to come clean with her, and tell Kagome why he had to see Kikyou. Although it wasn't in his nature to be all feely-touchy about his emotions, somehow he knew that was the only way Kagome would listen.

He would have to explain to her that he just couldn't leave Kikyou out there. At least, not in her current condition. They all claimed she was a clay doll. That wasn't true. If only they looked into her eyes they would see the flicker of life that burned there.

That light burn for him. He tried to look away, to ignore her. He couldn't do it because he brought her back. He had a responsibility to her. This Kikyou was more like her former self. She didn't hate him and understood his situations. That brief intelligence came and went. Then she would roam where ever with out a thought. He often had to go after her to make sure she didn't get into trouble. On his trips, he didn't think Kagome knew. He had been lying to himself to ease his own guilt.

What could have been going through her mind at those times? He didn't want to think about it. All the possibilities were frightening. So he just played it off as nothing.

Of course something like this never stays simple. After awhile Inuyasha had a feeling that something was up. He could never put his finger on it. He would always have a headache after visiting Kikyou. He also took into account the great passing of time. Like always, when he went over these thoughts, he'd get confused.

Inuyasha pounded his head. He had to focus on Kagome right now! He had been traveling for days. Inuyasha stopped in his tracks as he caught a familiar scent. He groaned in frustration, as the Wolf leader Kouga appeared on the horizon.

They had a stand off. One was watching the other with disdain, and the other glaring in contempt. Kouga stood straighter and found a tree to lean on. Inuyasha took it as a sign that he was willing to talk. He went over.

"Where's Kagome?" Kouga said. For the first time, Inuyasha wasn't greeted with an insult. Kouga's pack members sat nearby them, watching.

Inuyasha looked away, "I don't know." The tension in the air increased.

Kouga eased himself into a standing position. The wind ruffled his bangs as he starred at the other. "What do you mean you don't know!"

"She's gone! She left with Sesshoumaru." Inuyasha snapped.

"You let her leave with that homicidal maniac!" Kouga yelled. There was a murmur among the wolf clan. They whispered of the poor girl's fate. A few even shook their head, almost sure the girl was dead. Kouga only needed two encounters with the Aristocratic Assassin to understand his haunting power. Death was never far behind when it came to that Inu-Youkai.

"Leave it to a dog to mess it up!" Kouga spat in Inuyasha's direction, "What did you do anyway, runt? Why is it that Kagome wanted to get away from you so much she left with your brother?"

"Half-brother!" Inuyasha grounded up. His fist was balled at his sides. "I didn't do anything!"

"Kagome wasn't crying for nothing when I picked her up," Kouga fold his arms. His tail bristled up. "You did something!" He tilted his chin up arrogantly.

Inuyasha looked away. _That night_. Right now he couldn't really remember. What happen that night anyway? He left Kagome after lunch. He went to visit Kikyou. Around midnight he caught the scent of his brother and Kagome's blood. For the life of him, he couldn't remember what happen in that time with Kikyou.

Kikyou… Kagome was upset about Kikyou. She never was before.

Then Sesshoumaru…

Inuyasha rubbed his temple. That damnable headache! "I don't have time for this." Inuyasha took off in a different direction. Kouga ran into his path to halt him.

"Where did he take my woman?" He said. This time he was serious.

"I don't know!" Inuyasha said that as he side stepped his rival. "Kagome isn't your woman. _She's no one's woman_."

"Sesshoumaru is lord of the western lands, where is his mansion?" Kouga grabbed the other's shoulder to halt him.

"He doesn't stay there," Inuyasha shrugged off the hand. "He never stays there for very long."

Kouga growled and turned to his pack. "Let's go." Kouga intentionally pushed Inuyasha out of his way roughly. In a matter or seconds the group was gone.

Inuyasha cursed his luck. It was taking forever and he didn't have time to waste. Each day that past Kagome was in danger. He couldn't do it all by himself. He had to get the other's help. Inuyasha did something he wasn't normally used to. He went to ask for assistance. He took off in the direction of Keade's village. He hoped that Miroku and Sango were still there.

While Inuyasha searched for her, Kagome was busy trying to adjust to her new living environment. It had been a whole ten days living with Sesshoumaru. _Damn, I did it again. I meant Master Sesshoumaru. _Kagome opened her eyes to the new day. She could feel a piece of herself fall away the longer she stayed here. It was like being split in two if you will. For Rin she tried her best to be happy and cheerful. However as soon as the night fell, she became Master Sesshoumaru's new toy. She had become night and day.

Locked away in a high mountain fortress, there was no escape. Beyond the entrance, was a sheer drop off of 200 hundred feet. Not only that but her master had trained monster's to guard the grounds. Overhead predatory animals were constantly on the look out for a tasty meal.

Kagome often contemplated what was worse. Being lost out there where freedom reigned or being locked inside with the Demon. It was hard to decide. Here she lived in relative safety and all her needs were met. Never once did Master Sesshoumaru physically punish her, although he did keep her on a strict diet. His methods of torture were dealt on the psychological level.

She dreaded the night. As soon as Rin was asleep, he came for her. He put her through rigorous workouts, often wearing her down to the point of exhaustion. If she met his expectation, he would feed her while she recited the code of conduct. If he was in a good mood, he even let her drink some wine with her meal. For being good, he gave rewards such as jewelry, snacks or let her visit his library.

When she displeased him, which was whole other story. He would lock her in the dark room. Sleep and food were taken away. When in this state of sensory deprivation, Jaken came in and had her repeat all of her past mistakes to their Lord. When she forgot one, Jaken would cruelly remind her and mock her for forgetting them. This was all done under Master Sesshoumaru's scrutiny.

After the humiliation, Sesshoumaru would reprimand her for her failure. When her spirits couldn't get any lower, he would dismiss Jaken and pull her aside. Calmly he would tell her that she had potential. His speeches often followed the lines that he could make her stronger if only she listen and obey.

His voice was so powerful and with the lilting quality that only he could manage worked his magic on her. "If you desire strength, listen well and follow these simple rules put before you. Prove to me that you are worthy of my assistance." Then he would lower his voice for only their ears to hear; "_Only I can make you stronger_."

The first time she heard it, the whole speech sounded corny. As time went on, it started to make sense. Humans were indeed weak and frail. She was weak and frail, in comparison to Sesshoumaru's awesome power. He was the strongest Youkai in all the lands. When she started to believe his words, her instincts revolted. If she began to let the words sink in, there was no way to stop this downward spiral.

Each day was a battle for her mind. All she had left was her will to survive but even that was slowly ebbing. The part of her that wasn't brought so low by Lord Sesshoumaru, was the tangible need to prove him wrong. Yes, she was weak but that didn't necessarily mean she was worthless. As far as frailty went, that was only her physical limitations. Over the course of shard hunting, she learned that being clever and resourceful often was better then straight out violence.

Kagome found each day an opportunity to show that arrogant Youkai she wasn't some helpless _ningen_ in his hold. She kept herself busy by cleaning religiously. Giving Rin the best care she knew how to provide. She would cook delicious meals and preformed the tea ceremony with grace. She even went so far as to help Jaken once in a while. She did just about every thing to make Sesshoumaru comfortable. It wasn't for his sake, but hers. She had to get on his good side.

Right now, however, she was tuckered out. Nothing could describe her weariness. So much had happen and there was so much more to come. She worried she wouldn't have the strength to kept up this charade. She was so tired. She was so lonely.

In the darkest corners of her mind, she secretly wished she didn't know about Inuyasha's affair. It was true what they said about ignorance is bliss.

Kagome chided herself, _happy thoughts, think happy thoughts damn it! _It helped having Rin around. If it weren't for the little girl, she knew she would be completely catatonic. Kagome also knew Rin needed her just as much. That little difference warmed her heart.

There was so much to live for! She was destined for better things then this. She was the bearer of the Shikon no Tama, that had to count for something! Kagome took that quote, "That which does not kill you makes you stronger," as her motto. She was going to survive. She just had to take each day at a time.

It wasn't so bad, she tried to tell herself. Sesshoumaru could have been worse. He had all the opportunities to break her will but didn't. He left that decision up to her. A part of her mind desired to believe he wanted to help her. To make her stronger, and wiser. Kagome sat up and scoffed. _There's no way. He's a self-serving jerk that gloats over those weaker than him!_

It was still fairly early but she had enough sleep. She got up to dress for the day. First thing on the agenda was to get Rin up and feed her. She walked down the corridor to get the girl. She walked into the room only to be taken back.

Fear and shock leapt into her heart. He was there.

He opened his eyes and stared at her. For a tense minute they looked at each other. He finally closed his eyes as if he were sleeping. Rin cuddle the hand she held. Kagome bowed and walked out. Outside she leaned on the wall. Her mind made mad calculations.

First of all she saw Sesshoumaru sitting on Rin's futon with Rin curled up in his lap. That didn't make sense. He was a cold-hearted beast who lived to make others suffer. Yet here she found him hold Rin as if she were a baby. In that serene moment, Kagome was having doubts about her presumptions on the Taiyoukai. In that room with the soft light of the early morning, he appeared like a guardian angel and not some demonic being.

Kagome slipped away to the kitchen, her thoughts troubled. Jaken was in there rationing out proportions. He gave her a glare before picking up his tablet, waiting to write down every mistake.

"Good morning Master Jaken!" Kagome chirped. When he scowled at her cheery mood she smiled even more. She loved giving him a hard time.

The rice was just about done along with the miso soup and rolled omelettes. Kagome sat back and waved an ornate fan to cool off. The table was all set, all that was needed were the eaters. Kagome's yawn was cut short as a merry "Good morning Kagome-san!" sprang forth from Rin. She smiled at the little girl.

"Breakfast is ready, why don't you go wash your hands so we can eat." Kagome said as she began serving. Rin scampered off to do just that.

Sesshoumaru walked into the room wearing his traditional white kimono with the blood red design. In her stay she hadn't seen him wear it. Could this mean he was about to leave? Kagome felt somewhat uncomfortable as he sat down. This was probably the first time he joined them for a meal. She nervously scooped the rice into a bowl for him. She was about to dish him out the other side dishes but he refused them. Rin came back and plopped down beside Kagome.

The two adults remained quiet as they ate. Rin filled in the silence to calm the tension in the air. She ate hurriedly and spoke in the intervals. Deftly she plucked up a few pickles from the tray and crunched them noisily. She kept looking at Kagome hoping she would talk. Instead the older girl kept her head bowed and ate her food quietly. To her it looked like Kagome wanted nothing more then to disappear. She turned her head to look at her Sesshoumaru-sama who didn't seem to notice either of them. She sighed dramatically. This was not going to do.

"Kagome-san, what are we going to do today?" Rin asked. She held her cup like a miniature hime; so eloquent were her manners that morning. Kagome swallowed the last bit of her miso soup to ponder the question. Today she had hoped to do a little arts and craft with the girl. Anything to brighten the dreary décor of the fortress. Before Kagome could say anything, Sesshoumaru spoke.

"We will leave today," He said. The two girls looked at him. Rin was excited to go. Kagome on the other hand wondered what 'we' meant. So often she felt like a sub-being here. Although she didn't want to admit it, she too was elated. _To get out in the fresh open air!_ Kagome had to calm herself. Until she was sure, Kagome had to keep from getting her hopes up.

Rin practically gobbled down her food. All grace disappeared as she shoveled in the food. She jumped and ran out of the room to pack her things. Jaken finished his inventory and hobbled out as well. Kagome panicked at being stuck with Sesshoumaru- alone. How often did she become accustomed to Rin to buffer his presence? Even having Jaken around was preferred. Kagome also hurried to finish her meal.

She glanced up at him to see that he was watching her. Kagome looked back down quickly. Why did he always stare at her like she was some weird specimen? He barely ate any of his rice. The clink of his chopsticks neatly placed on his bowl echoed in the room. Kagome didn't bother to chew, she swallowed her bit of rice. She began to get up to ready the dishwater.

"You'll need a lot more to sustain you." He said. Kagome took the hint and sat back down. She dished out the remaining rice and miso soup. _So I guess I'm going._ Kagome smiled despite herself. For the first time in a week she ate to her hearts content.

She chanced to look back at him. This time he was looking out the entranceway, deep in thought. He held his cup and drank. He didn't seem so menacing like the night before. Instead he looked like a regal lord enjoying his morning cup of tea. _He's not so bad._ Bewildered at the thought, Kagome mentally smacked herself. He was the demon who enslaved her! Of course he was bad! Yet that whole scene from this morning was making her question a lot of things. Like his treatment of her. It was fairly obvious the guy didn't have too many interactions with others. Maybe, just maybe, he didn't know how else to treat her.

This morning, she witnesses a whole different side of him. He so carefully held Rin to him, like a father- a good father that is. Not many men were capable of such an endearing act. In her mind it was an oxymoron. Homicidal youkai don't care for a helpless kid. They also don't take on suicidal priestess either. Kagome shook her head. _And here I am._

Sesshoumaru got up and left her to her thoughts. Kagome some how knew he didn't want to stay too long, so she hurried to finish her chores. She gave the fortress a once over to make sure she didn't leave anything amiss. At the entranceway Ah-Un was saddled and was being loaded with provisions.

Rin pranced around asking everyone, "Are we going yet?" Sesshoumaru calmly told her every time she asks, "Soon."

Kagome packed her yellow bag. She was indeed surprised that it weighed a lot more then when she brought it. Her new kimonos, a few pieces of jewelry and trinkets were the extra weight. On her futon there laid a gold and ivory comb. She slung her backpack on then she picked it up and walked out. She was still studying it out in the foyer. Was this a gift of good behavior or was it something more?

Having been half starved and exhausted didn't exactly set her up to appreciate them. Whenever she found one she shoved it in her bag, bitter and accusing Master Sesshoumaru of mocking her.

Now as she held the expensive boon, she was overwhelmed with emotion.

Sesshoumaru looked over at Kagome as she fingered the token. He didn't understand why her eyes began to tear up. It was only a comb. She looked over at him and smiled her gratitude.

Kagome's smile widen when he turned away to ignore her. _Maybe I'm crazy but I see a chink in his icy demeanor. _She knew she shouldn't build wild ideas on biased observation, but an intuition inside her heart told her to watch him carefully. Because of what she witnessed this morning she was willing to give him a benefit of a doubt.

They were all set to go. Sesshoumaru helped Rin on to the two headed dragon-mount. Jaken was checking off the list before they could go. Rin gasped, "I forgot my blanky!"

"I'll go get it!" Kagome volunteered.

"Be quick!" Jaken snapped. He impatiently tapped his foot. Kagome ran and grabbed it. On her way back an unbearable ache developed in her head. She tried to ignore the pain.

Sesshoumaru turned around. A foul ubiety filled the air. He felt this omnipresence before. Kagome wasn't more then ten feet from him before she shrieked. The untrained miko doubled over in agony as a paroxysm took over her body.

"Kagome!" Rin yelled in panic.

Sesshoumaru cursed as he walked over to the girl. The same thing happened eight days ago while he was training her. She was mostly suffering from a metaphysical attack from a certain dead Miko. Already he could feel Kagome's intense power shielding off the attack. If he didn't intervene she was going to explode with power, possibly harming everyone in the room.

He pulled her violently shivering body to him. He slashed his hand and when the blood welled up he cupped it to her mouth. Kagome gagged and sputtered trying not to swallow. "Drink it," he demanded. Kagome still struggled away from the horrid liquid. He roughly shook her and forced her head back. "Drink!" he growled. Kagome had no choice. She choked down the thick metallic tasting fluid. It itch her throat as well as making her want to gag.

Her body was having an adverse effect from drinking the demonic elixir. Sesshoumaru continued to hold her as her body began to convulse. He was stoned face as he watched her cry and whimper. Once she began to digest his blood, he was able to influence and shield her. The cold asomatous fingers retracted and faded away.

Everyone was quiet and watched attentively to the pair. Even Ah-Un seemed curious. Kagome stilled in his arms. He stood up with Kagome. Her eyes were glazed over. He walked her over to Ah-Un.

"Get on," he told her. She lethargically obeyed him. Rin looked back at her still worried. "She's fine Rin." Sesshoumaru said to ease the kid. "I need you to hold on to her," Rin nodded her head and pulled Kagome's arms around her waist. She looked up at Kagome who still had yet to recover from her ordeal. Rin rubbed Kagome's hand and repeatedly tried to soothe her friend. Kagome didn't respond as she starred off into space.

No one said anything as they commenced on their trip.

To be continued…


	5. Journey, destination unknown

Chapter 5

AN: My comp is on the fritz again, and I have a helluva a lot of things to do this holiday season. So sorry if I won't be posting regularly. I know I said this chapter would be spicy but unfortunately these two (points at Kag and Sess) are NOT cooperating. Anyway, that's okay. Got to take it so slow if it's going to work, right? Anyway enjoy, cuz this is going to have to last you all month. Again, I'm very sorry. I do have a life ya know!

Thank you Lady Red! I wish you a very happy holiday!

~~~

The battleground was bleak.As far as the eye could see, a valley of death and destruction stretched beyond the borders. The stench of decay and spilt blood no longer was an oratory offense but rather became a putrid haze. A black cloud of flies made the air hum monotonously. Among the strewn body parts and broken amour, the glint of metal could be caught. The gleam of a bloodied sword was the only evidence of courage wasted. 

This was the place she woke up to. Not physically, her body was too weak to bring her back to consciousness. These were visions the blood brought to her. 

In this sorrowful place, Kagome could do nothing but bear witness to the insanity. She shifted away trying to find some sign of life. Nothing stirred except the carrion insects. Walking in the ankle deep puddles of gore and mud, Kagome was looking hopelessly for something she couldn't find. A nameless need.

Slow walking soon turned into a hasty jog. Even the rush of wind past her ears was not enough, her legs pumped faster into a sprint. Every where the bodies lay lifeless. In the dim light that was neither dawn nor dusk set everything ablaze in a penumbra reddish hue. Where light did not touch boundless shadows and darkness lurked. Kagome couldn't seem to get anywhere with out tripping on a fallen limb.

Hasty choked breaths burned her throat. The air was clinging as well as suffocating. She tried to wave the air away but that was no use. Covering her mouth and nose did little to ease her discomfort. She raced on searching, searching… searching.

She heard something. She stopped to listen.

A soft whimper.

Frantically all her instincts told her to go toward the source of the noise. She ran, her heart pounding with new adrenaline. No matter how hard she pushed her body, no closer she came to the sound.

Small child-like sniffles echoed in the dark landscape. 

"Where are you!" She shouted into the empty abyss.

Still the heart-wrenching whine continued. The sound… a pained, long tiring moan. A cry so bereaved of comfort and of total helplessness. It was the resonance of someone slowly dying. Torturous to listen to and not help the crying soul. 

"Please where are you? I'm here to help! Tell me where you are so I can come for you!" Kagome cried. Tears were streaming down her face. The longer she listened the more she could feel this child's pain.

She felt the cold breath on her face before she felt the hand tighten around her throat. Utterly bewildered she saw a shadowed face, talking to her…

"That is enough!"

Her surroundings cleared and she was in a bright sunny field beneath a towering tree. Her eyes focused on a pair of glowing golden orbs. Her eyes trailed down the neck to the shoulder, down the arm and to the hand currently pining her up to the rough bark of the tree. 

She looked around trying to be sure this was reality. Birds chirped in the distance. A cloud drifted in the way of the sun and moved away a few seconds later. Kagome's cheeks were cold from her torrent of tears. It took only a second to realize what had happen. She got caught up in his blood song. Strangely enough, she could barely remember the vision. Only flashes of images in the recess of her mind. 

She refused to look at the Taiyoukai. The pain and terror lingered despite the rapidly receding memory. The emotions were too raw for her and looking at him renewed the feeling. 

Slowly he removed his hand. In the distance Kagome could see Ah-Un and Rin waiting patiently for them. He made a move to go back, but even as she tried to follow her knees gave out. 

"Get up." He said each word with high emphasize to carry out the meaning that he had enough of her antics.

Kagome struggled to stand but she had no strength. Roughly she was forced up. He held her to his side as he half dragged and half hauled her to their waiting troupe. For a second she thought he was going to seat her on the two-headed mount but instead he kept her to his side as they all took flight once more. 

His anger clung to him like a shroud. His grip on her waist was punishably tight. Against better judgment her heart conjured up the remembered feeling of Inuyasha holding her like that a few times. A low disgruntle rumble in his chest was the first warning before she felt the pressure of his hand tighten. She winced as she had to momentary adjusted to breathing less amount of air. She looked up at him but his face was directed forward and there was a grim determination to his lips. 

She glanced to Tensaiga at his waist and came to the unhappy insight that he was indeed in tuned to her mindset. To what extent she didn't know. New despair and unease welled up in her. After a long anguish filled ride they landed a few hours later. He let go of her before his feet even touched the dirt. Kagome nearly landed face first on the hard ground but she righted herself in time.

She stumbled after him. Rin slid off Ah-Un with ease. Immediately she ran to Kagome's side, latching onto the older girl's hand with worry in her eyes. 

"Are you alright Kagome-san?"

"Yes, I am fine." Kagome gave the other a gentle squeeze for reassurance. 

"We will continue on foot." Sesshoumaru said not glancing at them as he continued on. The two girls nodded and fell instep 10 paces back. Kagome popped open the lavender paper and bamboo umbrella. It looked to be a hot day. 

In the front Jaken was talking hastily to Sesshoumaru who in turn didn't really acknowledge the retainer. Whatever was being said was kept mysteriously hush-hush from the girls. No matter how hard she trained her ears, Kagome could not make anything out.

"Are you sure you're alright Kagome-san?" Rin asked once more.

"Yeah," Kagome turned her full attention to the little girl. Rin lifted one eyebrow and gave the other a steady measure to see for certain. "Why do you keep asking?"

Rin shrugged. "It's nothing."

"Come on Rin, you can tell me." Kagome said, being sure to add a pleading note to her voice.

Rin gave her another look and complied, "You started crying. A lot. When you didn't stop Sesshoumaru-sama got real upset." Rin looked at her feet as they walked. Too intimidated to look at the older girl in the eye. "Then you stated speaking in a different language and that's when Sesshoumaru took you away. Kagome-san, are you sure you're all right? You sounded like you were in lots of pain."

Kagome took a moment to think. She needed to reassure Rin of course, but how? She also wanted to ask a few things but figured it best to discuss it later. Away from the other two youkai.

"Master Sesshoumaru's blood is like Sake. Drink too much and you get kind of loopy, ne?" Kagome reasoned with in herself as well as the little girl. 

"Ew! How come you drank his blood?" Rin made a gross face. Kagome could not say how much she related to its yuckiness.

"I think that's the only way Sesshoumaru-sama knows how to help me." Kagome replied offhandedly.

"Help you with what, Kagome-san?" Rin asked curiously.

"Um… You see I get… woozy." Kagome felt really uncomfortable about discussing this. She gave herself a mental shake. She had to be strong and being uncomfortable wasn't allowed. All discomforts were to be pushed to the back of her mind. She had to focus on surviving at the moment. To re-center her concentration Kagome remembered her policy to start all her relationships with honesty, that way she would never have to second-guess herself. She would begin with Rin. "When Kikyou was brought back into this realm, a part of me was extracted to sustain her. My soul and body yearns for it's missing piece. So as long as that piece is missing, I will continue to hurt." Once said, she laughed at herself. It wasn't so hard, being truthful that is. By saying it out loud it helped her consider her situation more seriously.

"If you get the piece back, what happens to Kikyou?" Rin asked out of intrigue.

"She'll die." Kagome was once more sober. The two said nothing more as they followed after their lord.

Jaken gave the two girls a sour look, then curse them and their witchery upon his lord. Keeping females while on the prowl was both bad luck and dangerous. Didn't his liege lord know this? _Of course!_ His mind shouted. He should remember all of his master decisions were his and he must a bid by them. 

He went pale with the thought of doubting his liege lord. What treachery! He knew on all accounts his master prided Loyalty above all else. To second guess… Jaken felt uneasy. He did that very rarely and when he did he was consumed by guilt for his lack of faith. No, he must stand by his lord, regardless of his obsure plans. Although still young in youkai years, his master showed an incredible amount of wisdom. After all, wasn't it by Sesshoumaru-sama who single-handedly unified the domain when all hell broke loose when his liege's sire fell? Within a year no less! 

Yes his master must have his reason to keep these weaklings. Oh how he wished to know his master's mind just a little! Torn between the desire to serve his master and the ever-increasing trepidation when it came to the new girl. Restless, he decided to leave the girl alone for the allotment. In time his master would let on what was planned. His only solace was his previous thoughts of undue mishaps. 

On the other side of the coin, Jaken pondered, _Perhaps this is what Sesshoumaru wants-- A challenge_. Aside from the bastard half brother, no one has ever given his lord a worthy competition. But what challenge exactly did the girl pose? She was a lousy pathetically weak and useless human!

Behind them, the girl with the odd accent, cleared her throat. "Excuse me, Lord Sesshoumaru. May we rest awhile? This summer heat is not good for a kid." A very winded Rin nodded in agreement even though Sesshoumaru could not see her. Kagome glanced down at the little girl and worried about Rin's flushed face. Although Kagome wasn't suffering too much, she too longed for a rest. They had been walking for a very long time. In this time and age, they must have walked 10 _ki_; a rudimentary standard of more then a mile and just shy of a meter. 

"We will not stop." Sesshoumaru's command was final. Kagome huffed with indignation and stopped. This in turn made the duo in front pause. The tension in the space between increased greatly. Jaken was aghast of her outright insolence! No one has ever disobeyed a direct order. Would his master finally realize what a great mistake she was and kill her for her bad manners? He waited with baited breath.

Kagome snorted in respite and got down on one knee. In a honeyed voice, she consoled the little girl. "Hop on my back sweetie." Rin looked happy and greatly relieved. Her feet were very tender from all the stones. Again Kagome cast a bitter glare at the Taiyoukai. How **_tactless_**, he didn't even bother to get the poor girl some decent sandals! Not even some tabi socks with the tough soles. In a later time she planned to bring that up. She saw Jaken's overly bright eyes and knew what it meant. She knew very well of their continued feud and his desperate wish for her death. _We'll see about that ya little toad!_

She bowed the best she could to Sesshoumaru with Rin on her back. "My apologies Milord. I hope I didn't offend you by stopping. As you have said, Rin's welfare is in my care. I am only fulfilling my duty to you Master Sesshoumaru." Again she bowed. Sesshoumaru could very well hear the underlying sarcasm but she did not openly place shame on him. As a lord he would not stoop to his brother's level and argue with the ningen about that insignificant infraction. There would be time enough when they reached their destination.

"Do not do that again." He warned. Inwardly he smiled as he saw the flicker in her eyes. Human's had no subtly what so ever. She might as well have said defiantly, _Or what?_ That's how obvious. Just for that, he would increase their pace which had been subsequently been slowed for them. He would walk at comfortable pace for his kind. He turned and began again.

Kagome readjusted Rin on her back and shifted the parsol to her free hand. She started after them. So he decided to go faster? Kagome groaned at her predicament. She had to be more careful around him. Kagome cursed herself when she kept forgetting this was Sengoku Jidai. This era was a lot stricter not to mention deadlier. People here lived and served under the sword. How often did she take for granted her modern freedom? She had to bite the bullet on the fact that she wasn't equal with the opposite sex. In this time there was no sense of chivalry. Women here in this time were submissive to their lord or husband. It was this overbearing formality. To be always pleasant, apologetic and the 'men are always right' mentality. She rolled her eyes at the thought.

There was a voice in the back of her mind that tormented her. _In time Inuyasha treated you as his equal. His friend and ally. That's more then what Sesshoumaru could ever offer- _She closed her mind to the voice and the emotional riptide that came with it. She searched her mind to will away those thoughts. She concentrated on more pleasant things. Like her family.

Out of no where she heard a voice in long suppressed memories. _Chin up Kagome, discipline is not to be spurn. Look forward to it with gladness. It teaches you to be strong!_ Kagome could hear her grandfather's wearied nugget of advice. She smiled despite herself. He used to say that whenever she had clean-up duty at the shrine. Or any duty she didn't want to do for that matter. _Well gramps,_ Kagome thought, _your right, I need to be strong and accept any or all forms of discipline. You didn't raise a weakling!_

Rin was softly snoring at her shoulder. Kagome smiled and hoisted the girl into a better position. With renewed spirit she quickened her pace. She glared at Sesshoumaru's back. _That's right you pompous ass, I'm not a weakling! You can break my body but not my spirit!_

Sesshoumaru half turned to her. Kagome inwardly panicked. _Did he hear my thoughts? Dear Kami of whatever that's holy in this place, please let that not be true!_ His eyes narrowed a fraction.

"You're lagging." He said harshly.

Kagome felt like fainting. That was too coincidental! Another thing to worry about in her doom existence. Did or didn't he have the power of telepathy_? Damn him. Now I have to guard my thoughts. Is there no escape from him?_ Kagome took several long strides to catch up. _There's only one way to find out,_ she thought. 

In the loudest mental voice she could muster she began._ THIS IS SONG THE NEVER ENDS, IT GOES ON AND ON MY FRIEND, SOME PEOPLE STARTING SINGING IT NOT KNOW WHAT IT WAS, BUT THEY'LL CONTINUE SINGING IT BECAUSE THIS IS THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS…_ She continued this mental babble for almost ten minutes until she was sick of the song. Every now and then glancing at her master to see any tiny signs of irritation. Heck she was wondering if the lack of any was an indication of annoyance. They were almost walking side by side. Well for him walking and her doing brisk strides.

"Will you stop that," He snapped.

Kagome's eyes widen, then it must be true-

"It's rude to stare. It's one thing for your ill manners as a ningen. It is quite another for this open display of speculation. You will cease this discourteous practice at once!"

Kagome eyes widen a little more. This must be the first time he actually got upset with her-openly that is. He even had the angry eyebrows to boot! Kagome immediately looked to the ground. "A thousand apologies master Sesshoumaru!"

"You only need one," His demeanor was once again back to normal. Meaning he was dispassionate and stoic to every thing around him. It was the little outburst never happen. Jaken was smirking at her. She glared back daggers.

__

Kagome, she told herself, _you're getting paranoid. Sesshoumaru can't read minds._ Kagome cautiously looked up at him for a split second, totally missing the importance of that gesture_. Or could he…?_

"Kagome?" Rin yawned. "May I please have some water?"

Kagome was glad the little kid didn't witness the drama. She put the umbrella down and reached into her obi for the flask. She handed it to Rin. 

She drank and handed it back, "Thank you Kagome-san." She nuzzled back into a comfortable spot. "Kagome-san smells so nice." She mumbled. "Yes, very nice."

Kagome smiled at the compliment. Sesshoumaru paused to look down at her with a curious gaze. It was not at all friendly. He stopped abruptly. "Give her to me," he said at last.

Perplexed, Kagome did as she was told. She turned her back to him so he could take Rin. Rin was not at all pleased at being move around while she slept but cooperated. She settled into the nook of Sesshoumaru's shoulder, yawned once and was out. Kagome was slightly pleased to have her burden lighten; however it was this little scene that bothered her. Once Rin was settled with him a light bulb went off. _Well I'll be… He got jealous!_ _Of little ole me? _

"How cute!" 

Kagome slapped her hands over mouth, but it was too late! For a moment she thought, _yep this is the end. _Sesshoumaru and Jaken glared at her. Her mind frantically tried to cover her ass,"I meant, Rin, of course. She adores you so much. I'm sorry I didn't mean to speak out of term," Kagome did a proper bow. 

To her great relief, Sesshoumaru was pleased with the comment. "From now on," the voice of self-preservation warned her harshly, "keep your trap shut. Next time you might annoy him into actually killing you. Well maybe not, but he could kill you in the agonizing way and bring you back, repeatedly_._"That one scared her to no end. Dying or being killed was part of life as much as breathing, this she learned from her very birth, but until you experienced it the whole affair was not at all pleasant.

They continued their journey. It took them uphill in the direction of the mountains. Calm fields turned into a rocky Cliffside. Those turned into treacherous trails along the cliff. At length, her calves and many of her thigh muscles were screaming in burning pain. One more step followed by another. Each steps a great accomplishment. Greater then the last it seemed. Her body screamed to stop but her pride didn't allow it. She wasn't going to lose face in front of him. Not when she came this far. Now that she was out in nature, the horrors of the cave resembled a dream. _Yes, a fading nightmare_. The beauty all around her helped to dispel her terror. She looked at the snow-capped mountain and the water colored clouds. For a brief moment, there was no pain. She looked at the majesty all around her and felt contented.

Kagome didn't feel anything when she collapsed. The parasol rolling out of her grasp.

When she came to it was late evening. Someone was pressing a porcelain flask to her lips. The sake burn on it's way down. The liquid immediately warmed her blood and gave her strength. She was propped up on something warm. It was like leaning on an upright waterbed. She opened her eyes to see her caregiver.

"Eeeei!" Kagome slapped Jaken away. Then realized too late her mistake. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know! I'm sorry!" she stammered with sincerity. All their quarrels forgotten as she helped to upright the small youkai. She went so far as to dust him off and fix his hat. Jaken slapped her hands away, embarrassed of her ministrations. He wasn't a child and he was quite used to being smacked around. 

Sesshoumaru didn't miss the whole interaction. How curious he mused. Since their very first encounter, Jaken and Kagome had a strong dislike for each other. Yet here the girl was fawning over him now. Why was that? Rin was sitting in his lap and she was giggling uncontrollably at the pair's antics.

"Jaken-sama is so silly!" She laughed.

"I am not!" He squawked still fending off Kagome's hands.

As much as it bemused him, he called an end to it. "We will rest here tonight."

Kagome sat back feeling kind of out of place. As the other's seemed to know what to do and she didn't. With her clique they all had a procedure that each were accustomed to. Here it was different. Rin got up and readied her bathing supplies, Jaken rushed off to do - whatever he does- and Sesshoumaru leaned on a tree and gazed into the fire. What was she supposed to do? Kagome always knew her duties, but not tonight. She figured she'd do what she did at the fortress. She would set up the bedding and then take Rin for a quick bath. Then make some dinner for them. 

A scaly muzzle nudged her in the ear. Kagome turned around surprised to have over look Ah-Un. She rarely got a chance be with this unique creature. She patted them both. Their eyes shined with intelligence much like Kirara's did. A spike of melancholy pierced through her heart. Oh how she missed her friends! As if sensing her sadness, a pair of tentative tongues licked her face. Kagome laughed easily at the affection. In turn she kissed their scaly snouts. She petted them gently.

Although it appeared that Sesshoumaru was staring into the flames he was in fact watching the miko very closely. He was touched at the surrealism. Even he felt a need for a poem to honor the moment. He looked to Rin who was digging through everything looking for her yakuta, a leisure kimono that's informal and comfortable to wear.

"Rin, say a poem for me." He requested. Kagome pulled away from the two-headed beast to listen.

Rin bowed and thought hard. And looked all around her and made up her prose. Her Sesshoumaru-sama was teaching her some aspects of etiquette and philosophy. One of her lessons included the use of poetry to enhance the _Wa_: harmony. She cleared her throat dramatically.

"The cry of night

Is never alone

The moon and the children stars

Keep counsel."

It seemed everything in the forest quieted at the poem. Rin's sweet voice rang loud and crystal clear. Sesshoumaru was pleased and granted her a small smile. "That was very good."

The night it must bewitch, Kagome thought. Even in her time, poetry and harmony were very important. It was all a part of their atheistic attitude toward life. It came as a little surprise that even Master Sesshoumaru also valued this time honored tradition. Meaning that he partook in this very human appreciation; this new knowledge warmed her heart. Again there was so much to learn. 

After getting directions to the Hot Springs, the two girls left. Not long after their departure Jaken came scrambling into camp. "Milord! Wolves on the horizon! They seek the Miko!" Jaken practically yelled, frenzied.

"I know. Let them come." He replied. A cruel curve manipulated his lips. The serenity of before replaced with malevolent discontent.

To be continued…

Happy holiday's everyone. I will write to you again in the New Year! Peace love and fluffiness!


	6. Conclusion of a hurting heart

Disclaimer: This work is fan fiction and was not meant to infringe on anyone's right or ownership. _Inuyasha_ and it respective counterparts are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. By no means am I making any money off of this. Thank you. However the concepts are from the dark twisted depths of my tortured soul. Enjoy.

AN: Man this has been long in coming! I hope you are not too upset with me. After all I think I need a little credit for actually posting a chapter since I can only use on ONE FRICKIN FINGER! Long story summed up in two words- bad accident. Don't fret! I'm not dead and live and kickin! 

As for stuff that is related to the story. Some people have been complaining about Sess treatment of Kagome. Sorry but its not all smiles and roses if you really think about it. Sesshoumaru is a stoic and antisocial **demon** and Kagome is a perky teenager girl and it will take time for them to build a bond of some sort. I really want to keep the characters in characters therefore I refuse to be like those other fic writers that makes Sess so sickeningly whohah and lovely-dovey and have Kagome totally overlook her hookups on Inuyasha. Then again, maybe I like the tension between the two! 0.o;;; Hehehehe, anyway in the following chapters Sess will soften up on the girl, maybe even some _bodily_ bonding *wink wink*, and then that character death I mentioned before. I bet you can't guess who it is! ^.~ 

Anyway, even though my goal is keep it IC expect some OOC anyway. Esp. from our dear Inu Youkai. There maybe a few errors. I seemed to have lost my betas : (

~~~~

They had settled into the water. Kagome sighed loudly as she let her tired body relax. Every muscle and every joint seemed to rejoice. Rin just laughed at Kagome's comical face. 

"This is delicious!" Kagome moaned. She floated semi-upright in the water. Rin was waddling near the shore. "Talk about slave driver! I mean I'm used to walking, but today! Man my legs feel like jello!" Kagome open an eye and asked bemused, "What's your secret Rin, how can you put up with him?"

Rin shrugged her shoulders as she moved her arms in the water creating slow back and forth waves, "I don't know. I just do." She looked up and smiled at Kagome, "Its not like I have a choice, do I?" She finished with a wry smile.

Kagome laughed. Rin was something else. She may look like a kid but she was smart and witty. "Yeah, I suppose your right."

"Kagome?" Rin asked.

Kagome made a 'hmmm?' noise.

"How come you don't like Sesshoumaru-sama?" Rin asked seriously. She stared long and hard at Kagome. 

Kagome turned away to admire the moon. Sometimes, like now, the girl sure unnerved her. The little girl's eyes didn't belong to a child. There was this eerie awareness about the girl. It kind of reminded Kagome of her Grandfather. He had that look; of one who had went through a lot and experience many things. It made her sad to see that in someone so young. 

"It's kind of hard to like someone like him." Kagome said after awhile.

"What do you mean?" Rin swam closer. She was curious as to why Kagome disliked her Sesshoumaru. He was strong and powerful. He made your hurts and fears go away. He was all that was good in a cruel world. So why did her friend fear Sesshoumaru so much?

"He's…" Kagome trailed off. This was going to be difficult. She looked at the girl whose world revolved around the inu-youkai. What was she supposed to say? Hey kid, I hate to break to you but your idol is a narcissistic homicidal asshole. Yeah, right. "He's too much of a stranger to me…" Kagome finished lamely. 

Before Rin could ask another question, Kagome dunked underwater. It was a full moon tonight, even so, the water below was dark and murky. It was perfect. Kagome just needed some alone time with her thoughts. She loved being with Rin, but there were moments she wished to be by herself. That's all she needed, some space and time to think- alone. If it wasn't with Rin it was Sesshoumaru where she never could think clearly.

Like always, she was plagued by one question. As each day that passed, the enormity of the question increased. What exactly had Sesshoumaru planned for her? What use was she to him? With Inuyasha, the answer was simple; she was the jewel detector, plain and simple. But with Sesshoumaru things were always more complex and mysterious. The jewel was completed and presently dormant and he never desired its powers, of that she was sure. So what other use was she?

Caregiver was clearly out. Jaken was more then capable of that job. It was obvious he didn't pick her for her so-called Miko powers, which were still untrained and unpredictable. A 'consort' was even more out of the question. Any notion that Sesshoumaru desired her was absurd! He made her every waking moment a living hell. Before she could get depressed she redirect her current question of why. 

Before she could ask that she had to go back. Back to their first encounter. It would bring a better understand to her current situation.

It happen not too long after Inuyasha and her first real battle over the Shikon no Tama. It was after the fight with Yura of the Hair. That was also when Inuyasha finally called her by her name. Even to this day, despite all ill feelings, that moment always warmed her heart. Talk about hearts, hers was pounding painful from the lack of oxygen.

Kagome resurfaced with a flourish. She took a deep breath. Kagome then turned to Rin, "Since the water isn't too hot, I'm going to go for a quick swim. Stay here okay?" 

Rin nodded. She was too busy trying to make a fountain with the force of her cupped hands. Once sure the girl was okay, Kagome floated away. She wasn't going too far out, of course, but just enough where she could swim with out hitting any of the boulders. 

She resumed her train of thoughts. Inuyasha and she had started out on their journey when Sesshoumaru pulled that dirty trick and deceived Inuyasha. During their confrontation, Sesshoumaru had given her a strange look. For the life of her, she couldn't decipher the emotions that swirled in his eyes. Then he went on and ridiculed Inuyasha about having a human companion. _"Why, it's a human girl…" _he said it with sarcastic amusement. Kagome gritted her teeth at the memory. No one had ever made her feel beneath dirt then that moment.

The brothers continued their bickering, which evidently led to their father's tomb, via Inuyasha's black pearl in his eye. More snide remarks as they both tried for the sword. Both, embarrassingly enough failed. Some how, Kagome was able to pull Tetsusaiga free. The look of pure shock on Sesshoumaru's face was priceless. She was fortunate to see it twice. The second time being when she survived his toxic flower attack. From then on, she dreaded his presence even after they won the fight and he had left with one less arm.

Their second encounter happen when Sesshoumaru had a fleeting partnership with Naraku. He had taken the coveted sword with the use of a shard enchanced human arm. Whenever she was around him Kagome always seemed to feel extreme emotions. She could never forget the terror she felt as Sesshoumaru prepared to deliver the killing blow on Inuyasha. Without thinking she shot the demon lord with her enchanted arrow. Even though he nearly beaten Inuyasha within an inch of his life, Kagome couldn't pull herself together to kill their attacker. Her hesitation nearly got them both killed.

In her mind's eye she could see Sesshouamru charging at her, fully intent on killing her. At that instant she actually understood his beauty was also a deadly weapon. She wondered how many others thought the same thing before being slain? It's an oxymoron to think that someone so handsome isn't dangerous. As usual, Inuyasha saved her by intercepting him.

__

Inuyasha had spilt so much blood protecting me, and how do I repay him? By turning my back on him… only to join up with our enemy… Even forsaking my promise… all for what?

Kagome tried her hardest to ignore her heart's voice. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't deny the truth. "Stop it. Don't think of that now. That's not important." Kagome said aloud. In time she would go over her feeling for Inuyasha but not now. Right now she had to remember and think of the clues as to why Sesshoumaru wanted to keep her.

Their third meeting began with the customary fight for the sword. This time around Kagome noticed something different about Sesshoumaru. The sting in his taunts was reduced. Something had changed about him, as if he was a little more reflective. During his onslaught on Tetsusaiga, he seemed distracted. There was a brief moment where she saw Sesshoumaru give Inuyasha an approving glance right before Inuyasha unleashed Tetsusaiga's wind scar. On the sidelines Kagome watched as the blast hit Sesshoumaru head on. Upon reflection Kagome had to admit she was somewhat disappointed that he had fallen so easily.

Their next meeting came when he acquired Tokijin made from Goshinki's fang. For a few seconds she thought she saw Sesshoumaru look worried as Inuyasha was almost consumed by his demon blood. A few days had past and Sesshoumaru had come upon them again. Inuyasha was once again possessed by his demon blood and was going on a killing spree. The brother's fought but this time around Inuyasha was beaten. The utter display of control and power made Kagome uneasy. She came to the conclusion that Sesshoumaru was holding a lot back when dealing with Inuyasha. _But why?_ He further confused her when he did not slay Inuyasha after knocking him out. Kagome used her body as a shield over the unconscious hanyou. He paused as he looked down at her, a flicker of emotion passing through his usually cruel eyes. 

__

That look. He also gave her that look when he resurrected her. She couldn't describe it or tell what it meant. It was a mixture of sorrow, contemplation and understanding. Whatever it was, it disturbed her greatly.

Kagome swam the entire perimeter of the hot spring but no closer to her goal. The only clue she had was that it involved Inuyasha. Maybe Sesshoumaru was using her to get back at Inuyasha. That was good an answer as any at the moment. Rin looked bored as she wadded around the shallow areas. She immediately perked up when Kagome returned.

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," Kagome said as she swam up to the other.

"It's okay," Rin said. "I'm used to being left alone. Rin is a big girl!"

Kagome smiled. She was about to say something when raised voices were heard. She let her spiritual awareness expand. Youkai… many youkais were near by, but why? Not only that but their presence felt familiar. She turned to the girl. "It's not safe here… we better get back to camp."

Rin blinked her bright brown eyes in confusion. However she did hurry out of the water and into her clothes. Kagome didn't have time to fully dry off when she heard the unmistakable sounds of fighting. In the distance she heard the ground groan and trees being turned into wood chips. Then realization hit. The presence she felt… it was Kouga!

She hasty threw on her Yukata and grabbed Rin's hand. Both girls quietly ran back to camp. Kagome stopped behind a large slab of rock, where she told Rin to stay, before running into the fray. Rin watched wide eye as Kouga barely dodged the acid whip. The tree behind him exploded from the impact. Kouga charged with a roundhouse kick but he didn't even get within range of hitting his opponent. Not even after the attack was executed, Sesshoumaru was behind him and was about to rip out his heart with his glowing green hand.

"Stop!" Kagome screamed. 

Everyone fell silent as they all looked at the panting and dripping wet girl. Kouga was dumbstruck as he looked her up and down. The new members of Kouga's tribe also gave her an appreciative stare. Oblivious to the leering, Kagome ran up to Sesshoumaru. 

"Please stop!" Kagome pleaded. She was also trying to regain her breath. Sesshoumaru looked down at her coldly. She could tell he was not at all pleased that she interrupted his fight.

Rin peeped over the rock with fear at seeing so many wolves. She started to get scared. Sesshoumaru picked up on her fearful scent. He looked over at Jaken and his servant got his meaningful gaze. The retainer quietly slipped away to Rin and gently took her away from the fight. Soon Sesshoumaru sense Jaken taking her somewhere safe. He came back to the present situation. Every thing was falling into place as planned.

Trying not to be distracted by her heaving breasts beneath the clingy material or how the water droplets slid down her smooth long legs, Kouga cleared his throat. "Kagome…"

Slowly she turned around to look at him. Kouga was almost overcome with awe. She looked absolutely beautiful and so vulnerable standing there shivering against the breeze. Her wet hair fell in wavy slick tendrils around her face. The fire highlighted one side of her face while the other side was bathe in the milky glow of the moon. The water drops clinging to her skin looked more like tiny diamonds. A low hungry growl erupted from his lips.

At this time, Sesshoumaru maneuvered himself in front of Kagome. A very dark energy was radiating off of him. Full of malice and violence. Being so near Sesshoumaru in this state made her ill. She took a step back but found that she was restrained with the fluffy tail. Any movements to wiggle free only made its grip tighten. 

Kouga's lust driven mind cleared seeing Kagome in duress. He growled menacing at Sesshoumaru. Kouga firmly planted his feet in the ground and flexed his fists. "Let her go!"

"Why?" Sesshoumaru equally demanded.

The challenge slightly caught the wolf youkai off guard. "Because damn it, that's MY woman!"

"I will not repeat myself again. This human belongs to this Sesshoumaru. No other." Sesshoumaru stated with finality. Before Kagome could protest on their claims of ownership, the tail curled tighter, leaving her gasping for air.

Kouga could feel the mounting power flowing off the other like heat. His instincts told him to back out and come back at a later time. However, seeing Kagome wincing under the crushing hold made him waiver. Just this once he was willing to ignore base intuition. Power he never knew he had surge into his blood. To hell with everything! He was going to take Kagome away from that beast.

Like a battle cry he shouted her name as he leap into the attack. Sesshoumaru disengaged himself from Kagome. The rapid movement of the tail unfurling sent her spinning. She fell twirling onto the ground with a thump. She tried to right herself but the brisk movement made her land on her feet the wrong way. The sharp pain was over looked as her lungs burned for more air. She looked up from the ground. It was hard distinguishing attack techniques with her human eyes. It just appeared like two humanoid beasts attacking each other. Their movements blurred, not only by speed but also by passing debris. 

She felt some thing moist land on her cheek. Too distracted watching what was going on, she just wiped it off. When it happen it again, she took the time to inspect her hand. There was a rusty color of red streaked across her palm. There was no mistaking what it was. She had a sinking feeling that it was Kouga's blood. 

She closed her eyes tightly. The crazy idiot… he was no match for Inuyasha, what made him think he could win against Sesshoumaru? This stupid fight was about her and if he died, there was no way she could forgive herself. She had to do something.

Rising to her feet despite the sharp sting in her ankle, she glared at the two blurred bodies. "That is enough!" Her own anger flaring over her anxiety and weariness. The dog and wolf demon paused to look at the glowering girl. They could see her shake with suppressed anger, and in their youkai vision they could see her glow a dim purple and every so often the color brighten. 

"You two are acting like children fighting over a toy!" She reprimanded. "And Damn it I'm not a Toy! Or a possession! Or a fucking slave for that matter!" Her own vehemence startled her. The other two were slightly taken back, more in shock then fear. "And for heaven sakes I don't belong to either of you."

Kouga looked at her in surprised hurt. Why was she yelling at him for? Didn't she know he was here to rescue her? As for Sesshoumaru, he straighten slowly, the exasperation very evident in his eyes. It became clear to her that neither one grasped her meaning. They were so set in their ways and thinking. It was like asking them to fart a rainbow. Kagome sighed dramatically. There had to be another way about dealing with this. Yelling, scolding or threatening them wasn't going to get them to stop fighting. Then again, maybe calmly talking about it might. It was so crazy enough to work.

She bit back the whimper as she tried her hardest not to limp towards them. "Please stop fighting. It's pointless. We are all civilize beings capable of reasoning, right?" She asked them, but her question was more or less directed at Sesshoumaru. He stared at her with a hint of animosity. 

"This matter is between us, girl," Sesshoumaru said smoothly. 

She knew he was baiting her, so she had to refrain from acting brashly. Her eyebrow twitched, but she managed to say calmly, "If you two insist on fighting over me, which is really pointless, then I have every right to intervene." When no one tried to contradict her, she continued. "Let's sit by the fire and talk. It's cold." Kagome shivered.

Kouga gave a nod to his pack, and they all disperse. They kept looking back worriedly. Especially his two loyal comrades. Once everyone was gone then the two rivals relax their guard. It was just the three of them now. Kouga's clear sky blue eyes brighten as Kagome walked toward him. She smiled, and he offered her an arm as he led her to the fire. Sesshoumaru waited for Kouga and Kagome to sit down before joining them. They both sat beside her, on each side about two feet apart. 

It was far too close for her comfort though; perhaps she was feeling this way because her lack of clothing. She pulled the excess fabric over legs, which wasn't much- it only reached her thighs. After all it was meant for Rin but since it didn't fit her yet, it was given to Kagome. She tried not to let their closeness make her nervous and distract her at was at hand.

She stared at her hands that held the hem of her yakuta. Where to begin? She glanced at Sesshoumaru. He was staring at her. She looked away quickly. She hated it when he looked at her like that. It made her feel like a worm dangling from a fishing hook. 

She glanced at Kouga. He was staring at her breasts. A deep flush swept through her. She "ahem!" loudly. His eyes snapped up to her face. She gave him a stern frown. He knew that from this point on, if she caught him staring he might get reacquainted with her hand. 

"So…" Kagome spoke slowly. She was still trying to formulate a course of action. "Kouga what brings you here?" She said with an uneasy smile. It was a no-brainer why he was here but she need to stall so she could come up with a persuasive way to get him to leave. The prospect of leaving with him was tempting. He offered her love, a place of belonging and protection. However, he did not offer her the key that could get her home. Her _real_ home that is. All that she had been through with Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, well, she wasn't going to let her suffering go to waste.

Kouga grew solemn as he stared at her. "I know what you did and why."

Those mere words stirred bile and self-loathing in her. She looked away from his thoughtful caring eyes. She didn't want him to see her shame, her guilt and her general hideousness. She meekly played with her sash and the knot at her waist. 

"Oh…" She whispered.

He tried to reach out for her hand but the barely audible rumble from Sesshoumaru made him reconsider. He dropped his hands in his laps limply. He really wanted to hold her but a fight between him and the other dog turd would get Kagome hurt. Kouga just had to settle with being near her instead. 

"Kagome… why didn't you come to me?" He asks earnestly. There was a hint of hurt there too.

Kagome closed her eyes. She let out a remorseful sigh. She looked back at him and said nothing. He understood then. Her silence said it all. He nodded and continued, "I'm here to take you back with me. I just can't let you stay with this bastard. It's too dangerous."

Kagome stared at the roaring blaze of the fire. A breeze swept low and washed over her still wet form. She shivered uncontrollably but when the cloak of warmth surrounded her, her eyes snapped over to Sesshoumaru. He was still as a statue as he stared at the fire. His expression fixed and unwavering. She was confused as to why he had lent her the warmth of his tail. 

That little act made the tension in the air increase. Kagome could feel Kouga's demon aura thicken with malice. Before she could defuse the situation, Sesshoumaru's cold and yet authoritative voice filled the air.

"No harm has come to her while she has been in my custody." He then turned to the wolf Youkai. Perhaps it was the trick of light or the dancing flames but his face appeared more menacing and yet calmly wicked. The gold iris' reflecting and absorbing the color of the fire. "I will not allow it." He looked away and back to the fire. "Dangerous, you say. Of what danger do you speak of?" There was a glimmer of a smile. It sent shivers down Kouga's back.

Kouga glared at the other. He was so fucking nonchalant and self-assured that it made him sick. But he knew the real reason he was upset. It had to do with the fact that this other demon terrified him. That also gave him more reason to get Kagome away from him at all cost. Sesshoumaru was clever, of that he was sure. 

Kouga snarled, "Who else dogshit! I was talking about you smartass!"

Kagome grew apprehensive, as Sesshoumaru didn't respond quickly. Kouga waited nervously for a reaction. Instead the dog demon laughed startling them. It sent another shiver through Kagome and Kouga, not from the cold but from sheer dread.

"Such bold words from a coward." He grew stern again. Kagome was experiencing intense disgust and anger. She soon realizes that these were fathom emotions, and that they belonged to Sesshoumaru. The link between them became stronger. Although he never let on to what he thought or felt, she knew he was allowing her a glimpse into his being. 

He continued with a condescending tone, "I killed hundreds of thousands of men but I never preyed on the weak and defenseless. There is no honor in that." His pupils narrowed into slits. "I'm only dangerous to my enemies." The underlying meaning of enemy hit Kouga like an arrow to the heart. 

Kagome frowned. This bit of news troubled her because it messed with her concept of him being the perfect killing machine. To be perfectly honest, she never heard of him slaying innocent villagers or random people. Occasionally her group had come across slaughtered armies or bandits with the telltale signs of Sesshoumaru's signature but never on the massacred villages. 

She glanced at Kouga. She had however come across ghostly villages that Kouga and his pack left behind. She closed her eyes as the remembrance made her ill. How many countless hours had she and her friends spent burying body after body? Could she ever forget their open maws screaming out in terror or how their sightless eyes were fixed in fear? 

And didn't Rin say earlier that she had died once? She was killed by a pack of youkai wolves? Kagome could remember asking Rin about the half moon scars scattered all over her tiny body. It had happen during their second bath together when more light was present that she noticed them. She could almost recall how Rin shuddered and how her lively face fell to that of a hollowed expression as she muttered one word: wolves. 

Kagome looked at Kouga in a new enlightenment. It broke her heart when she put the two together. Rin was from that same village when she first encountered Kouga. He saw Kagome's expression of shock then distrust.

Kouga grew angry. That asshole was trying to make him look bad! He glared at the Inu Youkai, "Don't pull your fucking holier then thou shit on me! You're ruthless and care for nothing! Honor my ass! If it suited you, you would sacrifice Kagome in a heartbeat." That last part hit a nerve in Sesshoumaru and before any one could blink Sesshoumaru pinned Kouga to the ground with enough force to embed him into the dirt. Kagome leapt into action.

"No! Lord Sesshoumaru stop! Please stop!" Kagome cried as she tugged on his arm. "Please don't kill him!"

The wind was knock out of him, but Kouga recuperated. The impact broke a few of his ribs, and one the bones had punctured his lung. Blood was dribbling out of his lips as he smiled at Sesshoumaru. The mighty lord messed up. Now he was showing his true colors like the murderous beast he was.

"I may be a killer but I would never harm Kagome. I love her." Kouga said confidently.

"So did Inuyasha." Sesshoumaru kept his voice low so Kagome couldn't hear. "Don't kid yourself. Soon the novelty effect will past and you will forget about her. Humans after all fade too quickly." He let go and sat back. Kagome was stressed out by all the dramatics. She helped Kouga sit up but returned to sit by Sesshoumaru's side, to keep a better eye on him. 

"Please no more fighting," Kagome pleaded.

"Kagome why can't you see it? He's using you. He's a heartless monster!" Kouga said through gritted teeth. "You know this!" Kagome's brow furrowed as she contemplated what he was saying. Yes, she knew Sesshoumaru was using her but what could she do? She wanted to go home and see her family so bad that she was willing to risk her life for it. She looked to Kouga, trying her hardest to convey that she had no choice. She looked at Sesshoumaru and realized that he set her up. He was forcing her to finalize her fate. Forcing her to stay with him.

Tears sprung to her eyes, "Kouga of what you say may be true." He was about to interrupt her but she held up her hand to halt him. "But it doesn't change the fact that I made an agreement with Lord Sesshoumaru."

"Kagome-" Again he was cut off by a firm shake of her head.

"You may think he's a monster but he isn't. After all, he gave me another chance at life and for that I must repay him." Kagome was now crying. "I'm sorry Kouga but I can't leave with you…" She wiped her eyes, suddenly aware that she was letting her captor see her weakness. With feign strength she didn't feel she looked up at Kouga. Her resolve firm and unyeilding.

"Kouga you say you love me, but you barely know me."

"I do love you!" Kouga look indignant.

Kagome gave a half smile, "Alright then. If you love me that much, then you must respect my decision."

Kouga's face fell. That was it. There was nothing else he could do. Kagome made up her mind. She was going to stay… with him… there was nothing he could. He gathered his wits and the broken pieces that was his heart. He gave a curt nod. Kouga stood up and left, not once looking back. Kagome was thoughtful before she came to a conclusion, then she got up. The tail that was still around her tighten and locked her in place. 

She glanced back at her master. 

"I'm not leaving." She said.

"For both your sakes, you had better not. You have undoubtedly pledged yourself to me not only by saying so but also having another witness it. This Sesshoumaru will hold you to it." The air between them grew colder that not even his tail could fend off.

"I understand. Please… let me say my farewell." Kagome asked softly. He didn't say anything but loosen his grip and that was good an answer as any. 

Kagome careful bounded off after Kouga but she had to be mindful of her injured ankle. He was taking long strides. His back was rigid as he marched on. It was a bit difficult but she managed to find him.

"Kouga," Kagome called to him. He hesitated but didn't stop. Kagome gave an exasperated sigh as she limped faster to catch up. "Kouga please wait."

"Why?" He snapped over his shoulder. He kept walking.

At last she caught up and latched up onto one of his hands. "Kouga."

He stopped. He closed his eyes and pressed a few fingers to his forehead in attempt to ease his metal turmoil. It was too dark to see his face in the caliginous forest. She could barely make out his body against the shadows. She limped forward to stand before him. "Kouga please listen to me."

"I heard enough Kagome." He said gruffly. He was grateful for the darkness so that she could not see his face that was twisted in grief. He wanted to sound angry and upset but he could never do that to Kagome. He left yelling up to Inuyasha, that damn dog turd. He was the cause for this whole mess. 

She tried to see his face but it was just too damn dark! Where eyes couldn't, she let her hands do the job. Kouga closed his eyes and let the wave of tranquillity swipe through him as her tender hands touched and caress his face. He nuzzled her hand and kissed the fleshy mound of her palm.

"Kagome," he breathed her name like a prayer.

"I'm so sorry Kouga…" Kagome careful embraced him. She rested her head on his chest. "I'm so sorry." She began to cry. She really was sorry. She knew he did love her. After all these years he still cared for her. She felt horrible leading him on like she did. She was angry at her self for not being able to return his affection, but most of all she was appalled with herself for hurting him so many times. The disappointment must have been murder on his heart.

He returned her embrace. He rested his cheek on her head. Dear gods, how he longed to hold her like this! He didn't care what Sesshoumaru said. He would never forget or get over Kagome. It was love at first fight. He could never forget how her eyes glittered as she slapped him. Sure it stung but it didn't matter. The fire in her eyes and that willful spirit, he knew she was the one. Forget youkai and ningen taboos, he wanted her. 

But she didn't want him.

So he had to settle for this. He careful stroked her hair and her back. He listened to her heartbeat 'thump' rhythmically. The sweet fragrance that was her true essence he cherished. But most of all he savored her nearness. 

Kagome enjoyed this as well. How long had it been since someone held her like this? Far too long, she mused. She couldn't help it. She was a human girl that needed love and affection. To be held and cherished and made to feel special. Maybe if they… Kagome's heart came to sudden halt. 

She couldn't for one second entertain the idea of running away with him. She shouldn't even be thinking about it. If she did, she was sure both of them were good as dead. Sesshoumaru would have it no other way. That's why she had to end this here before the temptation became too great.

Kouga was disappointed when she pulled away. "Good bye Kouga. Take care of yourself."

"No… don't let it end this way Kagome." He said. It was his turn to stroke her face.

"What other way is there to end it?" She asked.

He bent down and kissed her passionately. He pulled away with a bittersweet grin. "I can wait a little longer Kagome. When you fulfilled your duty and you have no where else to go, understand that there is always room in my pack for you. You don't even have to be my mate. Having you as a friend will be enough for me." He sighed as he cupped her face. "I can wait."

She couldn't see his face but every so often his eyes caught the light of the moon. It reflected back a dazzling blue, but almost made Kagome painfully aware that they did not belong to a man but a wild creature. Nevertheless she was touch by his words. She gave him a quick kiss before leaving. 

As soon as she was gone, Kouga said to the wind, "Goodbye Kagome, my heart, my love." He knew then that she would never be his. With a heavy heart he went home.

To be continue! 

What is a comment? Webster say's its a- 

A written note intended as an explanation, illustration, or criticism of a passage in a book or other writing; an annotation. A series of annotations or explanations. A statement of fact or opinion, especially a remark that expresses a personal reaction or attitude. An implied conclusion or judgment: a novel that is a comment on contemporary lawlessness. 

As always, a comment or review is greatly appreciated. : ) 


	7. Choices, Decisions and chance

Disclaimer: I do not own

AN: Yay! I'm finally out of the hell hole called a hospital. Sorry for the lateness. I wasn't expecting to recuperate that long. In this month I have lots of catching up to do. *** crosses fingers * **Hopefully I'll get up to where the plotline should have been. I just hope the quality and coherency will be good. The docs keep changing my meds and pain relievers, I'm not always in the right mindset. Oh well, if you see something wrong, or like to add a suggestion e-mail me. 

~~~~~~~ The beast within~~~~`

Kagome made it half way toward camp. She felt so numb inside, not even Kouga's kiss seem to spark anything in her. In the deepest shadows of the night she stops. She was shaking, badly. Kagome blinked rapidly and her throat went suddenly dry. Her vision blurred with fast forming tears. First the bone eater's well, the only way home. _Gone. _Second, her friends, disappearing like dust in the wind. _Gone. _Third, her first true love, the hanyou Inuyasha. _Gone._

"And now Kouga," Kagome said to the darkness. 

That was the last straw. Her knees buckled and she collapses in a heap of sobs. She hugged herself tightly. She felt so cold, so numb. She was scared. This emptiness terrified her and there was nothing she could do. Nothing except weep for all that she lost.

"Where did I go wrong?" She choked out. "What did I do to deserve this?" She asked no one in particular. The concept of Karma being a hard pill to swallow. If only it were that easy to rationalize life.

Kagome buried her face in her hands. Sobs racked through her frail body. Her shoulders shook violently. This was how he found her. Sesshoumaru did not worry about being caught watching as he was well hidden in the cloak of shadows. He's brow was furrowed as he watched her.

After his patience was worn thin, he had come to investigate why she was taking so long. He dismiss the concern that she had fled with the Wolf Youkai as one would clouds. Even so, like clouds they were still there. He was mildly annoyed with these new thoughts. Rin was an _exception_ and was the only human that he would allow himself to consider. The girl before him, who was making such an awful racket was his brother's bitch. Nothing more, nothing less. 

The reasonable part of his mind told him to go over there and make her shut up. However, he was strangely fascinated with her sorrow. Never before in his life had he come this close to witnessing another's potent misery. 

Misery that he had caused. 

Sesshoumaru incline his head to the side contemplating. If he could stir up such raw emotion in the girl, he wondered distantly what other emotions he could incur. He listened and watched the girl cry out her heart. In a way it was beautiful. The scent of her tears conveyed her sorrow in many tantalizing fragrances beside that of a salty squall. 

Kagome was slowly calming. Sesshoumaru wondered if he should make his presence known or return to camp. He deduced at once that confronting her now would have adverse effects on his plans. Tonight he sought to bind the girl to him and remove any possible outside influence. Now she really had to rely on him. As tempting the thought of reprimanding her about foolish tears, he would let it slide. She hated him, true but she did not reach that point where she became resentful. If that happen it would undoubtedly turn her belligerent, therefore useless in his cause. For that reason alone, Sesshoumaru turned around and went back to camp. 

He waited another five more minutes before a puffy eyed, red nose Kagome sat before the fire. She kept her face down. Rin and Jaken had come back not too long ago as well. The air was heavy with tension. Jaken had went ahead and made supper. Kagome didn't touch hers at all. She just numbly watched the stars. No one said anything for a long time. Rin ate her rice ball and fish quietly, unsure whether to do something or stay quiet. 

"Jaken," Sesshoumaru said calmly after a while. 

Immediately the retainer snapped to attention. "Y-yes milord?"

"Inform Akiyama of our arrival." He commended.

Jaken puffed up with pride at once again being recognized as a useful servant. "Aye milord!" He scurried off. Sesshoumaru didn't give him a second glance. His mind was preoccupied with other thoughts, or rather by a small craving. A few more minutes passed before Sesshoumaru spoke again. "Rin."

Rin perked up, "Yes Sesshoumaru-sama?"

"It is time to rest," He said. Rin nodded and cleaned her hands and face. She rolled her bedding out near him. 

"Can I hold your tail Sesshoumaru-sama? Just until I fall a sleep?" Rin asked meekly.

Sesshoumaru didn't understand why she even asked. For the past several months, it was her little custom to nuzzle into the thick fur. At first he tried to discourage her, since the little whelp drooled, tangled and generally made a mess of it. As time went on, he ascertained it was the quickest way for her to fall asleep. Live and learn he came to terms with the situation. 

"You may," He said rather off handedly.

Rin smiled. She drank the last of the evening tea, used a bit of tooth powder and snuggle into her bedding with the tail. She gave a contented sigh. She was a sleep in seconds. Now there was nothing to disturb them. Kagome could feel the ball of dread grow in her stomach. She didn't have to look up to know he was staring at her. She could hear him sniffing the air. She peeked through her bangs to look at him. Like so many times before, he looked displease. _He could probably smell Kouga on me, _she thought. She hugged her knees tighter to herself.

"Your bath was disturbed. You may continue with it. Afterwards I will speak with you," Sesshoumaru said. Although he didn't raise his voice, the deep baritone carried on the wind. Kagome looked up at him. He was acting peculiar. She was half expecting him to make a snide remark about smelling like a wolf. Her eyes narrowed in speculation.

Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, she took the offered retreat. "Yes Master Sesshoumaru." In the time that she was composing herself she had completely forgotten her ankle. When she stood suddenly, the sprain became a white hot agony. In that split second, Kagome saw white then blotches of red. The pain shot up her leg and practically paralyzed her. Kagome gave a silent scream as she fell backwards gracelessly. 

Sesshoumaru knew it was unintentional, but when she fell, her garment had opened. Who would have thought she shave there as well? Quickly he averted his eyes. He was _not_ going to be stirred by a peek of some under-developed human. It wasn't enough that his senses were constantly evaded by her peculiar smell. Visuals added to it would only disturb him more. Not to mention intensify that damnable craving.

Unaware of what just transpired Kagome was too distracted by the overwhelming pain. She took many deeply calming breaths. Her chest heaving with each intake. For reasons unknown to him, Sesshoumaru was transfixed with her. After a minute, Kagome swallowed her discomfort and stood. Sesshoumaru continued to watch her. 

For a human, she was doing a fairly good job of ignoring her pain. Kagome didn't make it far however. She stumbled, and got back up. She did this twice more. Sesshoumaru gave an inward sigh. The foolish girl was making her injury worse. It would not do to have a lame Miko on his hands. Which, by the way, he remembered to go over that tonight after he fed her. 

He went over to escort her to the bath. "I'm fine!" Kagome gritted out. He made a move to pick her up again but she slapped his hand away. "I said I'm fine!" She said through clench teeth. He was shocked. A minute ago she was in a daze, now she was practically viciouis. Not once during they're time together did he ever hear a hint of malice in her tone, until now. All the hatred was aimed at him. It shouldn't have bothered him, but it did. 

"No, you are not," He said evenly. She made a move to swat his hand away but he caught hers mid swing. "That's enough," For a split second there was a battle of wills. Sesshoumaru put a little more pressure in his grip. Finally Kagome backed down in defeat. 

With that done he tossed her over his shoulder. Just as easily he thrust Tokijin into the ground creating a barrier around camp. Kagome could feel a dense aura flow out of the sword. The animals in the area could feel the evil too and immediately left, leaving Rin in relative safety. Once done, he proceeded to the small hot spring. Kagome's body was rigid as a board as she tried to discern her situation. Sesshoumaru was annoyed at her anxiousness. He wasn't going to hurt her. Of course if anybody tried to tell her that, she probably fall over in a fit of nervous –and slightly mad- laughter. In this point of time, there was nothing positive she could associate with him. 

They came upon the waters. Again Kagome's body went rigid, almost expecting to be toss into the water. Once more, Sesshoumaru surprised her when he placed her on a boulder. Kagome slid out of his grasp and watched him warily. He stood in the water calf deep watching her as well.

She couldn't bare the intense gaze. She looked away to stare at her feet. The warmth of the water's soothing the tender ligaments. "I didn't need your help," Kagome said while still looking away.

He snorted in response, clearly disagreeing with that statement. She looked back at him. It seemed rather silly of him standing there fully clothed standing in the hot spring. She sighed heavily. In that one breathe all her tension and anger faded. Only mild annoyance was left. They were both quietly contemplating each other.

After awhile, she was beginning to wonder when he was going to leave. She was suppose to be bathing, but having her militant captor stand guard was more then nerve racking. She gave a fleeting glance at him. "I'll be alright." She said it in such a way, that it would be impossible not understand the hint to leave. Sesshoumaru's brow creased, as he silently considered something unknown to her. His features relax as he came to a conclusion.

To her horror, he began to undress. Her face was beet red. She looked away so fast she almost gave herself whiplash. Sesshoumaru snorted, obviously not amused by her modesty. The waters shifted and rippled around her ankles as he entered. It was easy to forget that in this time and age nakedness wasn't something to be ashamed of, well at least in Japan. Co-ed baths were common here unlike in Europe where, about this time, people had unhealthy opinions about water being the source of plagues. 

"Your body will not get clean by sitting there," He blithely said. One half jesting, the other half mocking. "Or must I do that as well along with your feeding."

Kagome looked utterly mortified. There was no way she was going to let him touch her. It was bad enough that he still insisted on hand feeding her. "Uh… right…" Kagome turned away so that her back was facing him. She slipped off the Yukata and slid into the water in one fluid motion. She swam a good distance away to give themselves some room. The wooden basket with her bathing supplies was still floating near the water's edge. Once in her possession again, she quickly got started. With a handful of sand and soap, she did an excellent job of scrubbing her skin clean. Every now and then she heard Sesshoumaru splash about as he washed. 

Her heart was racing. Mostly out of fear, and anxiety. The other part – the one she wishes to ignore- was strangely curious. Just when she thought she figured him out, he pull a stunt like this. What was he up to? It was aggravating to say the least. She was staring hard at the plastic bottles as if it had the answers and it wasn't telling her.

Her reverie was snapped short when a hand plucked the shampoo bottle right out of her hand. Kagome floundered away. Her arms clamped over her chest. It was a difficult performance, being able to use only one leg and all. Much to her relief he wasn't totally naked; he was wearing a white towel around his waist. A towel that had suddenly appeared out of no where. Sesshoumaru ignored her as he looked at the bottles.

Kagome glowered, her anger peaked, _what a jerk!_ _He could have at least given me one!_

Sesshoumaru was intensely interested with the bottle. "What is this concoction?"

Kagome sank a little lower into the water with only her chin above water. "It's a cleanser for hair. It's suppose to make it healthy and manageable," Kagome nervously explained. Her eyes darted every where but him. His usually passive face slipped into a scowl.

"You will look at me when talking to me," He warned. That confused Kagome. He was so domineering, that it seemed very disrespectful to look at him while conversing. In fact she was sure it went against etiquette not look at her superiors. The only exemption being with equals of some sort. Which she was sure she was not. Above all else she tried not to be disrespect. To her she tried at all cost not to be challenging if only to improve her quality of life. Kagome's heart speed up with a frighten beat. It was difficult but she managed to give him brief eye contact. "Yes Master Sesshoumaru."

There was a dangerous glint in his eyes. He put the shampoo bottle back into the basket. Kagome's panic button was on red alert as he swam up to her. With her bummed ankle, there was no way she could back up fast enough. Not like that would do her any good. Even though the water was delightfully warm, when he came close to her, it felt like she was skinny-dipping in the middle of winter. If she didn't calm down soon, she might belly up and drown. It took the last of her reserve energy to keep a float.

"Look at me," He demanded. 

It was a simple order, but try as she might Kagome wasn't able to do it. Not when he was acting like this. Out of no where his hand cut through the water and clasp over her lower jaw. He forced her to look at him. Tears welled up at the corners of her eyes as she flinched in front of him. 

"Why won't you look at me?" He demanded. In actuality he was not trying to be aggressive or to provoke terror in her. He was never one to beat around the bush about anything. Therefore it was perplexing him why she wouldn't answer a simple straightforward question. 

Kagome twisted, trying to pull away from his grip. He gave her a firm shake to make her understand who was in control. Again, he had no idea that these gestures were scaring the hell out of her. He was simply asserting his dominating role and telling it in a not so subtle way that he was still boss. 

"Answer me," he said lowly. Kagome whimpered as she tried to peel back his fingers. He let go suddenly, a bemused smile on his lips when certain clarity hit.

"Don't like my deformity, do you," He taunted. Kagome was quiet, her silence a plain enough answer or so he thought. They were obviously thinking on different levels. Not only was Kagome frightened, now she was confused. _What is he talking about?_ Kagome thought.

Like lighting he grabbed her hand and pressed it to the stump where his left arm should have been. She tried desperately to pull her hand back as if it burned. He wove his fingers with hers to lock it in place. Kagome was openly whimpering now. "Why are you doing this!" Kagome cried as she struggled with him.

All she could hear was the sound of the parting water as he moved them rapidly to shore. Distantly Kagome acknowledge her feet dragging across the soft soil of the embankment. It didn't take much from him to toss her onto the sand. He straddled her waist while Kagome was preoccupied covering her chest. He sat upright with the moon behind him. Kagome could not see his face with the lunar glare. She did however see the drastic silhouette of the missing arm. 

"Understand this," He said slowly. Although his face was shadowed, Kagome could see the yellow brilliance of his eyes easily. Once again he grabbed her hand and forced her fingers to touch the soft tissue. Kagome's eyes widen when she realizes that the wound never did heal. Sesshoumaru gritted his teeth as he pushed her fingers into the flesh. Kagome began to struggle with more gusto. She was beyond freaking out from feeling the pulse of his heart through the muscles, but even more so with the blood flowing over her hand and arm. 

"You as well as that bastard Hanyou are responsible for this, and until it grows back you belong to me." He said again with painful torpidity. There was so much vehemence Kagome wondered how long he was holding this grudge. 

He let go of her hand. His own heart was racing. Adrenaline was pumping through his body. Sesshoumaru was not one to explain things or admit anything so personal. Because of his current state he was preoccupied with the overflow of emotions that blinded him to common sense. He couldn't think straight. Not with her being so willful and at the same time being so submissive. Her conflicting actions were making him react just as confusingly.

Kagome was too exhausted to comprehend this power struggle. One thing she did when pushed to her limits was act irrationally. The fight or flight syndrome kicked in. For the first time in a long time, she didn't feel like submitting. Just this once, she wasn't going to go down easy. 

"It's what you deserve you… you… demon!" Kagome snapped with utter loathing on the last part. She could feel claws of anger scrap furiously in her ribcage, as the strange new apathy grew. Dark energy was coursing through her. Quickly she placed her hands on his chest. Her hands began to glow with power. Sesshoumaru was well aware of the damage she could do. Before she could let loose the power, he savagely kissed her. Kagome was shocked.

It was too much, both physically and mentally, Kagome fainted but before she did her last thoughts were Sesshoumaru's earlier words _"No harm has come to her…" _Kagome's eyes closed, hoping that was true.

Minutes passed. Sesshoumaru finally pulled away when his frenzied mind calmed. Coming to reality was a major shock. He was stunned to see what a mess he made. He left a bloody trail of kisses down her neck, shoulder and upper chest. There were many bruises, a few deep gouges, and in some places clear imprints of his teeth grazing her skin. His face was coated in her blood. Kagome was alive but palpitating hard from the blood loss. This was not his intentions.

He had only meant to give her a reprimanding nip. 

Yet the earlier craving proved too much in his over excited state. It felt like a dead weight being dropped in the pit of his stomach. For the first time in a long time he was distressed. He was angry with himself for losing control. The arrogant part of his mind that managed to suppress any feelings of guilt or remorse was strangely silent. He tried to pin the guilt on her. It was her fault for being so damn ornery and also for her being so humanly frail. 

He could try all he wanted but he still wouldn't believe it. He was the stronger one. He should have been in control at all times. What really got to him more then losing control was how aroused he got from nearly killing her. The taste of her blood was pulling him back, tempting him to finish the job. 

Sesshoumaru forced himself off. He had plans for her. He had to regain control over the situation. Doing so was no easy task as it was similar to coming off a high. It had such a strange hold over him. The pull of the red lively elixir was very intense. At first he assumed that it was her miko's power but that didn't make sense. He had been near her in battle where she had a bloody laceration and it never sparked any interest in him. That was then. Nowadays her blood, even her flesh had this tantalizing _taste_. It's flavor rich in power; An addicting sort of power- Not to mention a very available sort of power. 

"The Shikon no Tama…" He said aloud. He understood. Once the jewel of four souls had returned to her, she had become the shikon no tama. He didn't taste her blood but rather the jewel embedded in her.

Whether he liked it or not, he had to rectify the damaged he caused. Once sure he could handle himself, he bent back down to lick her wounds. Whenever Rin hurt herself, he often did the same thing. In his saliva was a healing component, and with his mystical abilities the wounds healed rapidly with almost no trace of scarring. However, he had to do it fast otherwise she might bleed out. 

He had just got done with her shoulder, before he realized he was getting dangerously close to one warm, delectable soft breast. Already his mind was abuzz with euphoria. All the extra energy was pooling in his loins. Concentrating was becoming exceedingly difficult. He gave himself a firm shake. He went back to licking. Of course now, his tongue stroke became languorous. He stopped on one particular bite, just above the tempting mound.

"Mmmm… Inuyashaaaaaa," Kagome unconsciously moaned. Her hands began stroking his scalp where a pair of triangular ears should have been.

At first he was insulted, but given the chance to mull over it he had to admit it kind of aroused him. Somewhere between the juncture of her neck and her collarbone, he lost sanity. The primal side of him that he hid from everyone was slipping. How long had it been since he had a good fuck? His mouth moved south a little more. 

"Sesshoumaru-Sama!" A frighten little girl's voice rang out.

His head snapped up in shock. The fog of lust evaporating. In its place: panic followed closely with disgust. 

"Kagome-san?" Rin called not too far away. 

Sesshoumaru cursed under his breath. Both for his stupidity and letting his guard down. He looked at Kagome and where the wounds once were. There was none, except for a few suction marks. Again he cursed. He wiped his mouth hastily trying to get her taste out of his mouth. Quickly he looked around for the towel that was _suppose_ to be around his waist. 

By the time Rin came to the hotspring, Sesshoumaru was dressed as well as Kagome. She looked as though she was sleeping peacefully. She was however dangerously close to the waters edge. Rin may be a kid, but she knew instictively that something was up. The little gears in her head began turning in earnest. She never belied her thoughts though. She smiled ruefully at her lord.

"I'm sorry Master Sesshoumaru. I know I'm not suppose to wander about but I got scared." Rin said meekly. "I heard wolves."

"They won't be coming back," He said to calm her.

"I know… but it's still scary." Rin said while digging her toes into the soft soil. "Sesshoumaru-sama?"

He turned to look at her.

Rin looked up with a sad expression. "How come you and Kouga aren't friends anymore?"

"We were never friends to begin with." Sesshoumaru calmly explain.

Rin twiddle her fingers. "But… that one time… when he saved me…"

"I remember, that is why I didn't kill him. Nonetheless, that was a long time ago. Things change, people change." Once again he patiently explained.

Rin sighed dramatically. She looked at Kagome, "What happen to her?"

This time Sesshoumaru didn't answer. He picked up Kagome. He walked up to Rin and offered her his tail to hold on their back to camp. 

Once more he settle Rin into bed. It must have been around Midnight before Kagome began to stir. She was drowsy at first but the hunger would not be ignored. Groggily she sat up. She rubbed the sleepiness out of her eyes. Kagome blink several times. "That was some twisted dream," she mumbled.

"What was it about?" Sesshoumaru's inquiry sounded more like a demand for information. Kagome jumped when she found how close she was to him. Hell, she was practically leaning on him.

Pink flooded into her cheeks at the confusing images that were pieced together like beads on a necklace rather then a scene from a movie. Bits and pieces, really just images of her fondest memories with Inuyasha and one hot steamy night. She looked at Sesshoumaru and looked away quickly. 

"It's n-nothing. Nothing important, it just a dream." Kagome hurriedly said. Kagome felt in her gut a great sigh of relief come from Sesshoumaru even though he was still as a statue. _I wonder what that was for?_ She thought.

Kagome looked around herself, the dawning acknowledge that a moment ago she was at the hot springs. "Wasn't I at the…?" Kagome trailed off.

"You passed out," Sesshoumaru said calmly as he prepared to feed her. Subconsciously she turned to sit in front of him, waiting patiently.

Kagome gave a small nod. After that extensive walk, no wonder she fell a sleep. But then… Kagome touched her lips where Kouga so passionately yet tenderly kissed her. It all came back to her except for that minor part before she fainted. Every thing else was crystal clear. 

Kagome's face fell. Sesshoumaru brought up the chopstick with a piece of fish pinched neatly in between. Kagome opened her mouth obediently. Whenever he fed her, he never took into account how luscious her lips were. Also how they were stained seductively with a corral pink. His breath caught from a glimpse of her white teeth pulling the morsel off the two sticks. It went by almost in slow motion.

Kagome on the other hand had no idea what she was doing to this proud Taiyouaki. Her mind was busy thinking up which question she needed to ask. That and also how to phase them so that they would get answered honestly. 

Sesshoumaru was struggling within himself. It was war between logic and his inner beast. He should have known. From the moment he tasted that forbidden ambrosia, he should have backed off. It also should have ended there. Yet he couldn't help himself. Night after night, when she was too exhausted to wake up, he would take a little sip here or taste there. 

How did he become so addicted? This had never happen before. Even with his harsh training, nothing had prepared him for this. He kept trying to focus. Then something acquired to him. It would cool his blood.

"What was your relationship with Inuyasha." He frankly didn't care, but any information he had about those two would help his cause.

Kagome was taken by surprise. She blinked several times. "Pardon?"

He gave her a look that said he would not repeat himself.

Kagome sighed. "I really don't know…" He waited for her to elaborate. Kagome wasn't sure how to proceed. He was acting awful interested over something that wouldn't normally catch his intrigue. Should she tell him? Whenever they mention Inuyasha's name it was either to anger or hurt the other. She thought about it. If she did answer him, he might be more willing to deluge information for this reluctant partnership. She made up her mind.

"For a long time we were close friends, sure we had our quirks and disagreements but still really good friends." Kagome took the offered drink then resumed. "Even then… there were times were I thought we were complete strangers. It could have been more but…" Kagome paused to find the words. It was painful. Nonetheless it had to be said. "It could have been so much more but Inuyasha was always holding back. He seemed like he didn't want to change things. He wanted everything to be the same. I had hope for change once the jewel was recovered but Inuyasha…" Kagome frowned at how she was sounding. It sounded a lot similar to a pushy female version of Hojo. "My relationship with Inuyasha was more like friends with _benefits_." Kagome said at last. They were doing all the things a couple's did but no real conformation. No commitment. 

" I see," Sesshoumaru said, his words clipped. 

Time past slowly in their nightly ritual, only this time he did not want her to repeat the code of conduct. They just continued in silence. As for Kagome, what she confessed to Sesshoumaru put a lot of things into perspective. She had been dealing with this whole situation entirely the wrong way. If there was no commitment between her and Inuyasha, then he never cheated on her. If he never cheated on her, she had no right to get upset. 

Yet still, what Inuyasha did was not all right. Truth be told, Kagome was partially responsible too. When she turned a blind eye she had inadvertently gave Inuyasha the okay to stray. What she said earlier about ignorance is bliss was wrong. Ignorance gave the power for him to walk all over her. She let herself become the victim.

Even so, was all this worth losing a great friend? That special connection was gone but the love wasn't. In that instant, her heart lightens of all the woe, anger and resentfulness ebbed away. They would never be true lovers as the ghost of Kikyou would always be between them. However, they were friends to the end. Kagome understood now. She had to go back and resolve this with him, to make everything right, but first…

"Sesshoumaru-sama." Kagome looked him in the eye.

He looked at her.

"I can't do this any more." There was steeliness to her words. "I can't go on living like this. I'm sorry Lord Sesshoumaru but if you continue to treat me like Inuyasha did, I have to go. I thank you for reviving me. Please do not think I'm being ungrateful but I refuse to be your pawn. If there's a way to open the well, I'll find it, with or with out your help." She could feel his anger rising.

"We had an agreement." He said almost too calmly. This was clearly not what he expected.

"No, you decided I was part of whatever scheme you had. A deal is not a deal when it's one sided." Kagome firmly stated. "What ever I may have said concerning a deal was through trickery on your part. And to think I thought you were above all that." Kagome's expression softens. "What happen to you?" Those four words had meant so many things. It was laden with sorrow. "There was a time not too long ago where I held high admiration for you. When you fought along side us to defeat Naraku. How you save Kohako and Kagura. I almost considered you a friend…" 

She watched him intently. At first there seemed complete outrage in his mind, but that manifested into other emotions. Although she could not see them dance across his face like Inuyasha's, she could feel it. Then she saw something that was strangely akin to weariness. For a creature that does not age, it was odd looking at him looking so ancient. 

He didn't answer but stood up. He walked to the edge of camp, his mind in an uproar. He had everything plan out, except this. Prehaps he should have broken her will. Perhaps he should have done a lot of things, but he didn't, he couldn't. Not to her, and definitely not in that way. Why? He questioned himself. Why was it so hard?

He was becoming weaker. 

In the beginning the plan was to kill Inuyasha and get the sword, thus fulfilling the promise he made long ago. He failed horribly. Each time the opportunity arose, another oath steadying his hand. Caught between two damn promises. Then once he thought he could fulfill both, the girl Kagome was proving more difficult then he anticipated. 

He turned around to look at her. Whatever the reason she might have, he had to show her that she was indeed better off with him. He had come this far, he wasn't about to let her go. Nothing changed they would proceed. Only this time he would have her consent and willingness to do her job. 

"Come with me Kagome." He said. Kagome was taken by surprise. That must have been the first time he had ever called her by her name. Slowly she stood and limped over to his side. "I have something to show you." Kagome saw in his eyes a flash of something dark, almost ominous. Kagome gulped as he wrapped his arm around her waist and they ascended into the air. Kagome was right to be apprehensive, for the next thing that would happen would change everything.

Comments? Reviews? Please?

To be continued…


	8. Least Expected Corruption

**Written by Vampyrosa  
Disclaimer: This work is fan fiction and was not meant to infringe on anyone's right or ownership. _Inuyasha_ and it respective counterparts are the creation of Rumiko Takahashi. By no means am I making any money off of this. _However,_ I like to add thatthe concepts are from the dark twisted depths of my tortured soul. _Enjoy._**

_AN: So, um… you all must be pissed with me… I don't blame ya. You can read my apology at the end. As for now, get your fix._

**Chapter 8**

The stars shown like glittering gems placed haphazardly on a crushed velvet sky. They were flying so high, Kagome was sure that if she reached up she could pluck them from the sky. It was so clear and utterly amazing that she could see the fine dusty trail of the Milky Way. Here in the feudal times, there were no pollutants hindering this natural beauty,

She turned her attention to the ground. The moon was not yet full, maybe in another night, maybe two. Did it matter? No, it didn't for Kagome as she absently thought. Where they flew over villages she could see the intricate – yet carefully planned- rice fields. From this height they didn't appear to be water but rather like big pieces of a broken mirror. It reflected so perfectly the night sky.

Kagome was drawn away from her wandering thoughts when they flew straight into a cloud. The mist chilled her but it at least was refreshing. Kagome smiled despite her current situation.

Even though Sesshoumaru held an ironclad grip around her waist, Kagome in her mind, was a million miles away. Who wouldn't be by the supreme beauty of all the natural wonders that surrounded them? Kagome closed her eyes to relish the onslaught of wind blowing into her face. It was so surreal. The only time she felt like this was when she was with…

Kagome's smile disappeared, as her thoughts grew bittersweet. She closed her eyes as memories claimed her. It was only with Inuyasha did she ever feel this carefree and happy. Like the times she rode on his back. She could feel the wind against her face. If the wind chilled her too much all she needed to do was cling a little tighter. His strong body offering comfort and all the warmth she needed. To her, he was home.

Even as she was thinking this, the arm around her waist held her just a little tighter as they hit some turbulence. The familiarity was tearing her heart apart. Inuyasha used to do that. She loved it when he did that.

Being in such close proximity with Sesshoumaru, she could now pick up on his unique odor. He smelt just like Inuyasha except his musk was more feral and menacing. Kagome wanted to cry because the smell was so reminiscent of happier times. Like the first time she and Inuyasha first made love.

_It was a beautiful spring day. The sky was filled with fluffy clouds and warm breezes. The air fragrant with spring blooms. It was absolutely perfect._

_They had just finished making love. Kagome could remember exactly how Inuyasha looked. He was flush and his forehead was beaded with sweat. He was exhausted but smiling though. He looked down at her with sweet adoration. He was stroking her face so lovingly. Even as he moved to lie beside her, his eyes never lost that sparkle of joy. _

"_Kagome," he would sigh. She missed how he said it, like some scared prayer._

_He pulled her closer as a breeze swept low over their exposed bodies. Idly he prop his head on his hand while the other kept busy by pulling leaves and grass out of her hair. _

"_I love you Kagome," He would say. He always seemed to blush a little harder when he said that. In turn she repeated that same thing with absolute conviction._

_At this time she snuggled closer. With her nose pressed upon his chest she would inhale deep. He wrapped his arms around her bringing and entwining their bodies closer. With this new access to his neck she would again take another whiff. She loved it! He smelt so masculine and strong. _

"_Stop that," he would gruffly tease. "That tickles."_

"_I can't help it," she would say in her defense, still smiling._

"_Why do you do that anyway?" Following that question came a soft kiss to her forehead. He knew this always brought a shy smile from her._

"_You smell good."_

_He raised an eyebrow, curious. "Like what?"_

_She took this time to play with his prayer beads. "I don't know. Like something wild. Like the forest, and…" She giggled as she trailed off._

_He pressed his nose up against her nose and goaded her. "And?"_

"_You smell like me." She admitted sheepishly._

_He sniffed her. "Hmm…" He said disapprovingly. _

"_What?" She was startled and a bit scared of his tone._

"_You don't smell _enough_ like me." With a playful growl he claimed her lips. _

Sesshoumaru reposition his arm and in doing so pulled her more to him. Kagome couldn't stand it anymore. She pushed roughly away from him. "Don't!" she cried. At this he let her go. He kept watching her to be sure she hadn't lost her mind while he wasn't looking.

She moved away to sit on the very edge of his mystical cloud. She held her knees as she cried bitter tears. Sesshoumaru looked down at her with contempt. He just couldn't understand her flippant nature. One minute she was content the next she fell into a bout of tears.

………………………..

They had arrived at a strange location. It was the very foot of two conjoined mountains. To the naked eye, it only appeared to be a giant crease between the two. Pink slate meeting a blacken cobalt. When Sesshoumaru touched the seam, it rippled and slowly a pathway was revealed. Kagome was over whelmed by the formidable power that lay beyond its entrance.

Every fiber of her being told her not to go in. Sesshoumaru took a hold of her arm and forced her ahead of him, giving her no choice in the matter. Almost immediately Kagome was filled with nausea. It was too much. Her body, let alone her mind could just barely tolerate the place. Whether it was the power of her so-called miko abilities or the power of the Shikon No Tama that resided in her body, it gave her just enough strength to endure the absolute agony of trespassing.

The course rounded corner after sharp curve. It was like a bizarre zigzag between the mountains. At one point Kagome was sure they made a 360° a couple of times. Sesshoumaru kept on going, unrelenting. He didn't give her a chance to catch her bearings or her breath. The overbearing presence of the place left her weak and made her rely heavily on Sesshoumaru's firm clasp.

Before Kagome could ever wonder how long the path went, the paths stopped short of a leafy end. Sesshoumaru let go long enough to push back the florae for her to enter through before guiding her into the source of this sacred place.

It was beautiful.

Kagome was dumbstruck buy the unadulterated beauty of this place. Even at this time of night she could tell how green and how colorful the flowers were just by the glow of the moon. But just as it was beautiful, it was deadly silent. The hum of insect and nocturnal animals was absent. It was eerily calm. Kagome took an unconscious step closer to her unwavering captor.

Despite him being an arrogant jackass, he was very calm, and scarily respectful of his surrounding. To her observant eyes, she watched him only step on the stepping stones and no where else. Quick to follow suit, she mimicked his every move, lest something bad happen to her.

They followed yet another path that led downward to a small pond. Where the cobblestones ended, so did Sesshoumaru. For a long while they stood there. She watched him eye the water with wary scrutiny.

When he spoke, Kagome was slightly startled. He didn't raise his voice or anything of that nature, yet the place was so quiet it only amplified his voice. Sesshoumaru's tenor voice reverberated on all the surfaces and reflected back onto them with a twisted velocity.

"You have questions." His golden eyes never left the water. "I could tell you the answers but you would never believe them, as you still consider me your enemy." He released her arm.

Kagome took this chance to step away. Her gaze was torn between him and the water. She got mixed emotions about the water. In her gut she felt an overwhelming sense of evil, and yet at the same time the same sense of extreme holiness. Over all, as a mortal, she knew it wasn't something she should take lightly. To be honest, she knew she shouldn't be here.

"Look into the water…" he commanded her. Kagome frowned. There was no mistaking the underlying tone of anxiety. In all her time of knowing him, he never gave her that impression before. To witness that now, at that time, well it scared the hell out of her.

He pushed her forth, "Go."

Kagome had no choice now. She went forward, her questions over flowing in her mind. She stood at the bank, before the swirling waters. She took a deep breath and looked into the pond.

Inuyasha awoke from beneath a canopy of vines. He blinked several times to be sure he wasn't dreaming. He was covered in a thin layer of dew and from the looks of things been there for a while. Instantly he gripped the hilt of his sword- nervousness causing him to grip tighter.

Something was wrong. He wasn't supposed to be here. One minute he was making his way to Keade's village in search of his friends and the next thing he knew, he was here.

As he searched around he noticed many petite footprints and all too familiar scent. Hell, he was covered with it. Inuyasha touched his mouth when he discovered that he could even taste it.

He was disturbed by the thought.

But why?

The more his mind tried to make sense of his current predicament, the more the headache grew. It was such a wearisome battle that he grew dizzy. He laid back into the hard earth and closed his eyes. In the distance he heard the rustle of leaves being crushed under foot. The sound was familiar and didn't hint of danger. Against better judgement he fell into a deep slumber.

As Kikyo neared, Inuyasha was practically unconscious. She knelt beside him, her eyes soft as she looked down at him. She touched his face. With utmost tenderness she brushed his bangs aside. There on his forehead she placed a kiss.

"Together at last… This time I won't be denied." She whispered to him as one would to an endeared lover.

She reached behind her for her quiver of arrows and pulled out just one. With both hands she raised it far over head and stabbed it down hard.

To her astonishment the arrow seemed to shatter at the moment of impact. _'But why'? _She questioned. Then there she spotted a flicker of gold just beneath the firerat robe. It shimmered there on his neck with a magical glow. Kikyo pushed the cloth down to see a gold chain and at the bottom dangled a heart shaped locket. Etched on it was the character for protection.

Kikyo grew angrier the longer she looked at it. Jealousy and envy radiated through out her being. The moment she tried to snatch it away, powerful jolts pulse through her as if she was struck by lightning. It was so strong that it actually threw her back.

"Why!" She screamed. "WHY WHY!" She pounded her fist into the dirt. For once her calm façade disappeared. This long held agony erupting at last but leaving her empty and feeling foolish.

"Even now that imposter lays claim on you!" Tears she wished she had didn't come in her moment of need. "Even now, Inuyasha, you still betray me…"

Frustrated she stood to leave. She didn't bother to look back at her former lover. It was too painful. To escape the pain she shut down and drifted away. Like a small stone descending into a bottomless lake. Deeper into darkness… alone and cold… an endless, pointless journey.

Sesshoumaru stood motionless as a sobbing Kagome ran past him. She ran desperately toward the exit. Whether it could have been by the horror of her vision or the unbearable truth that propelled her speed, Sesshoumaru didn't know but followed at her heels. Once they cross the barrier Kagome tripped and landed roughly to the ground. Her hand holding her over abused ankle. Her hair fell around her face hiding her anguished expression. Her body shook as she silently sobbed.

Like before, the enchanting scene beheld him. Almost drawn to her grief he knelt beside her. He went to touch her but she viciously slapped it away.

She said nothing but her eyes burned with fury, hatred and deep emotional turmoil. Her frantic running had left her hair in wild disarray. Small tendrils fell in her face making her appear more untamed and desperate.

It was such an alluring image.

He reached for her again. Kagome shrank from his touch both in disgust and fear. "Get… away… from… me…" She snarled in abhorrence.

She was doing it again to him. Stirring his blood, his desire…

The more she resisted the more he wanted her. In a white blur he was there, and then the next thing she knew he was towering over her. He leaned over her so much that Kagome had no choice but to fall back onto the soft ground. It didn't take much for him to restrain her hands above her head. By the time she found she couldn't escape she went into another bout of hysterical sobs.

He tilted his head to the side and very gently licked away her tears. He could tell she was expecting the worst. He slackens his grip on her wrist that he held over her head. With exceptional thoughtfulness he began to softly suck on the salty wet trail that made their way into her hair. They were slow and deliberate.

"Why do you enjoy my pain?" She questioned him. Even though what he was doing was on the contrary.

He pulled back so he could look her in the eyes. "This isn't about you." He reminded her.

At this admonishment Kagome erupted into mad laughter. It was filled with bitterness, fatigue and vague insanity. "Of course not. I'm just another pawn in your grand scheme of things. I'm your last resort in this torrid family affair."

He waited patiently. He could tell his calm was upsetting her more. Her eyes became dark with malicious intent and the curve of her pink lips turned vindictive.

"_Inuyasha is and will always be better then you_," She boasted. "For someone as powerful and smart as you, you still lost an arm to a un-trained hanyou with no knowledge of handling a sword." She grabbed the stump to emphasis her point.

Again he simply didn't respond.

"Inuyasha took down countless opponents and Naraku! You couldn't even do that!" She spat.

He looked down her for a long moment. He smiled then, unfazed.

"I'll forgive you of your ignorance." He admonished. His tone neither condescending nor angry. More or less like a teacher calmly correcting his pupil.

Kagome was enraged. "Fuck off you goddamn son of a bitch!"

This seemed to draw a smile to his face. He really was enjoying this. He drew his face closer to her, which made her uneasy. "You understand so little… but that's to be expected. Your not suppose to see the whole picture, as you said before, your just a pawn to be used."

"How dare you!" He could see new tears beginning to spill out. Deep down he hit a nerve.

"Be grateful I took you under my tutelage." He let his eyes drift close as he rubbed his nose against hers'. "Who else would want you? The hanyou Inuyasha that you beheld so high has abandoned you. All your beloved friends have forgotten you. I'm sure by now Inuyasha would have had plenty of time to assemble all these so called friends to come to your rescue. Where are they Kagome?" He asked her seriously.

"Where are they?" He asked again. All she could do was swallow as she nervously thought up an excuse. He cut her off before she began.

"I gave them the benefit of a doubt and stayed far too long in one place. If they were to come they would have done so already." On this matter he spoke truthfully and she knew it too.

"As for your beloved wolf leader," he let his perverse smile show thorough, "It goes without saying Kagome, you are far better off being my pawn."

Kagome blurted out before thinking, "He loves me!"

"Your naivete is astounding." His eyes became dark and foreboding. "Are you capable of killing Rin? Or any of your kind for that matter?" He asked suddenly.

Kagome was dumbstruck by the question. Her mind flashed back to Rin. How the little girl would sometimes rub her scars, as if the old bite wounds still hurt her. Seeing that in her mind, it scared her to the core.

"It will be expected of you."

Kagome looked off to the side unable to answer. She wanted to say that he was just the same in that regard. She wanted to ask him if he would expect the same thing from her. However, it became clear that anything she said he was going to twist it and throw it back at her. She turned to look back at him.

"Why?" She pleaded. "Why take someone like me into your keeping?" It was this question that kept popping up in her mind. Every time it did, it made her increasingly upset, angry almost. In her heart of hearts, everything depended on his answer. Before anything progressed she had to know.

"As you said before, you are my last resort…" He brushed his lips over hers. That very act might have put Kagome into a permanent state of shock if it weren't for the next thing he said. "…In more ways then you can imagine…" He admitted almost bitterly. He deepened the kiss. Kagome on the other hand neither protested nor got angry.

She was so overwhelmed that she let him caress her and kiss her all he wanted. He began to slowly lower himself unto her. His hand urgently stroked her upper thighs, inadvertently drawing up the fabric. Her body began to respond to the pleasurable sensations but her mind was far away. It was numbed beyond all reasoning. So she let herself slip into a comfortable cocoon and let her body do all the reacting. Sesshoumaru wasn't aware of any of this; he was too busy getting off. He continued with a fervor that shocked even him.

He pulled back so he could see the pleasure glittering in her eyes. He was completely stunned to see that her eyes were blank. There was no light of anger or fear, not even awareness. She blinked every so often but that was a normal bodily function. Her breathing evened out from its heightened state and the flush color quickly dissipated. For all facts and purposes, she was still alive but completely catatonic.

Sesshoumaru stiffly moved off her and sat to the side. He closed his eyes as he calmly breathed in and out. Both to calm his anger and the overwhelming lust. It was frustrating. He was unbearably hard and the need to finish what he started was burning him up inside. However, he wasn't going to stoop so low and just take the sex. Women had always thrown themselves at him and so will she.

He opened his eyes in shock. What was he thinking? Was he seriously considering bedding down with a human wench? That proposition had been haunting him for days now. And always he kept pushing it to the back of his mind. Right now, it had to be dealt with. He turned his focus to her.

She merely lay there with her eyes open but she didn't see anything. Her hair was spread out around her head in soft looking curls. She stilled held a youthful glow and ripeness that was begging to be caressed. His gazed settled on her swollen red lips. They glistened with his wet kisses. She was there but at the same time not. She had escaped him and that drove him crazy.

Her beauty was unique and quite rare. However it wasn't enough. He wanted her vivacious attitude, her idealistic reasoning, but most of all her defiance that made her a force to be reckoned with. Without any of that, what was the point?

He couldn't stand to look at her anymore. He sat in his customary thinking position. That consisted of him resting his arm on one propped up knee and him staring ahead with a slight scowl.

This wasn't the plan he thought. The plan was to get the Tetsusaiga, then trade insult and lastly but not least kill that damn Hanyou.

Fucking the human had no place in his scheme. Breaking her yes, but any further action was stupidity on his part. Also, didn't it also go against his tightly held belief that human bitches were nothing but trouble? Many a great demon had fallen because of them. It's as if humans infected Youkai with their emotions and unrealistic romanticism.

But more then anything, it bothered him the most to know that his father, so strong in might and mind had died because of one weak mortal. His father had no equal, so why? Why did he allow that woman to weaken his rationale? How could he be corrupted with pity for humans? Sesshoumaru had dreamed of one day defeating his father and taking his place in the world but instead his father died. He died protecting a consort and bastard child.

Sesshoumaru was filled with contempt that he was actually following down that same path. That's why more then ever he had to stick true to his self-imposed rule. Human bitches with off limits.

He made the mistake of glancing back at her. She looked so disturbingly beautiful, and frighteningly alluring. He could feel his resolve weakening. The longer he stared at her, the more his inner desire became despaired. It was disappointing in a way. The time that he spent with her, he had a pretty good -idea how she would be in bed. Like a real wildcat, she'd be insatiable and exciting. Her petite body will be writhing in pleasure with his. Her voice calling out in urgency. Not to mention how she will ride him like a…

Sesshoumaru growled in agitation. Damn his luck, he was hard again. It was beginning to become painful. This wasn't the time or situation to be aroused! He had to think of other things. With great difficulty, he thought of his highly regarded rule. For the life of him he couldn't think of one good reason why he shouldn't take her. It seemed his mind went completely blank.

There was a conspiracy brewing within his mind. The warning bells were going off but he didn't understand why. Then an idea hit him like a jolt. It was so profound that it actually caused him to rethink his rule.

Many Youkai frown on relationships with humans. _However,_ many were guilty of pillowing with them. Some actually admit that it's better and easier to occasionally bed them. As many know, many female Youkai had a tendency to be violent and arrogant. It seemed raping and devouring humans were their only real purpose for a demon.

Also he had to consider that his father had a great fondness for all humans. And so, perhaps _that_ was the root of his father's demise. Sesshoumaru still found all humans repulsive and annoying. If his father had only debauched with human wenches without falling in love maybe he would still be alive. Maybe the real weakness was letting emotions and hormones get the better of logical thinking.

He glanced at her, then away and back at her again. He had to make a conscious decision about what he was considering. Would bedding with her really be all that bad? Once again the silent conspirator words worked their way through his brain and he made a sad effort to ignore them.

Maybe, just maybe, seducing her would actually make her more docile and efficient in his quest to kill Inuyasha. Wouldn't his brother just hate it if he managed to get Kagome to crave only his touch? He could imagine how devastating it would be for his little brother. He smiled a wicked smile on that image.

Once that was decided he turned his full attention to her. He kissed Kagome's plump red lips with a silent promise of deviance later. As a last note, he added that it was a good thing in more ways then one. He wouldn't have to travel to the illustrious Youkai teahouses to sate his carnality. On these trips he often had to leave Rin alone and he never liked that absence. With skillful planning, Kagome would be near at hand and available to his wanton tendencies.

With one last kiss he picked her up. He was beaming with an immoral eagerness. She might have escaped him now but next time she wasn't going to be so lucky.

To be continued…

_ First and foremost, **I'm so sorry!** I'm very sorry to keep all you faithful readers waiting. It goes with out saying that a lot of things happen that had prevented me from continuing. Before, I just kind of lost steam and the ideas grew stagnant. That's all changed now. I will finish this story damnit! I'd like to add… Thank you my faithful readers who kept pestering me to continue. You know who you are wink wink Again, thank you. It took me a while but because of you I was able to post another chapter._

One last thing, any of you artist out there, I have a small humble request. From any of the chapters, could any of you pick a scene and draw it for me? It helps with the creative thinking process _wink wink nudge nudge _I want to spruce up my site, and I thought an illustrated version of this story would be kinda kewl and different. So what do ya say? Submit your drawings to 

You just might get something really kewl for your efforts.


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